ErgoBlog

http://www.ergoblog.com/ - a blog about ergonomics

Sit Happens: A search for the best chair.

Source: By Seth Stevenson
Posted Tuesday, Dec. 6, 2005, at 1:55 PM ET

Modern office chairs have grown far too complicated. Their underbellies have sprouted gnarly forests of knobs and levers. Their instruction manuals have thickened into tomes. On occasion, new chairs are equipped with explanatory CD-ROMs. This is absurd: Since when have we needed an animated schematic to teach us how to sit on our keisters?

Answer: Roughly since 1994—the year of the Aeron.

The debut of the Herman Miller Aeron chair revolutionized office furniture. Where executive chairs had once flaunted their acres of sumptuous, buttery leather, the Aeron was a sleek skeleton of metal and mesh. All interlocking parts and ergonomic contours. It was the perfect techno-throne for the Internet age, and in the past decade it's taken its place among the most well-known chairs in history—as recognizable as an Eames or an Adirondack.

But all fashion is fleeting. The Aeron is looking very ante-millennial these days. While its presence behind a CEO's desk once conveyed dynamism and with-it-ness, today it suggests that the office may be due for redecoration. There's precedent for this: Remember when the high-tech, overdesigned Nike sneakers of the late-1990s/early-2000s got gradually out-cooled by throwback Pumas? I predict the Aeron will likewise step aside as a slew of simpler, less nerdy office chairs ascend.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. The Aeron still remains a spectacular success, sales-wise. And my mission here is not to trend-forecast. It's to find the best desk chair out there. With this in mind, I recently tried out six popular office-chair models at a variety of price points. I brought each chair into Slate's D.C. bureau to be tested—over a period of several weeks—under real-world office conditions. I assessed the chairs based on comfort, how well they adapted to multiple postures, their maneuverability around the floor, and their aesthetics, among other factors. I conducted what office managers term a "chair rodeo," asking Slatesters to try the chairs in succession and then to carefully rank their favorites. By the end of my trials, each chair had been sat on by at least seven different asses. (Or, as they prefer to be called, Slate editors.)

So, which chair is best? My findings, from worst to first:

UNSITTABLE:

Cachet, by Steelcase, $508
This is glorified lawn furniture. There's no cushioning here—only hard plastic, which (as you might expect) looks, feels, and very much smells like plastic. The design also steals the classic lawn-chair look, with its slatted construction. Unfortunately, as with lawn chairs, your thighs get uncomfortably extruded between those rough ribbons. One of my heavier testers (a 200-pound guy, give or take) reported that the Cachet was almost unwilling to hold his weight. This thing just feels cheaply made. Five-hundy for a lawn chair with wheels? No thanks.

Celle, by Herman Miller, $629
A lower-cost alternative from the maker of the Aeron, the Celle (pronounced "sell-a") turned out to be the Cachet's stiffest competition. By that I mean: 1) It's really stiff—with padding that is thin and hard, and 2) It sucked almost as bad. This chair is, in a word, unforgiving. The moment I sat down I wished to stand up. The tiny nubs on the chair's back pad prod into your spine, as though it were a torture device rather than a piece of task-oriented furniture. The Celle seems reluctant to recline at all, and it gets quite tippy if you force the issue. Its best feature might be its ample size and sturdiness: One Slatester described it as a "double-wide big boy," and indeed, it appears it could easily handle an XXX-L office worker.

VERY GOOD, BUT NOT SUPERB:

Leap, by Steelcase, $924
This is a handsome chair. I tested the black leather model—which manages to exude an executive vibe yet avoids any hint of pomposity. In addition to looking good, this leather chair is quite comfy. But it does that whoopee cushion, air-rushing-out thing when you sit down too fast. This is an embarrassing flaw, and it also makes me worry about the seat's long-term durability—I feel a more solid construction wouldn't count on the seat to compress and reinflate like this. The Leap does recline smoothly, and even at full lean its wheels remain steadily rooted to the floor. At this price, though, it ought to be a radical step forward in office furniture, and it's not—it's just the same old sit.

Aeron, by Herman Miller, $899
Down goes the champ.

Don't get me wrong—this is a very good chair. Its "pellicle" mesh is the grippiest fabric on any of these seats, and it instantly conforms to your haunches like a futuristic hammock. Many still find the Aeron's iconic style sexy and desirable, even a decade on—at least one Slate editor coveted my sample Aeron from the moment he first laid eyes on it.

But over time, all flaws are brought to light. As I suggested above, I feel the Aeron's look is somewhat dated. There are functional problems, too. If you recline to put your feet up on your desk (my preferred office posture), the Aeron becomes seriously tippy. And if you roll around your office—say, from your desk to an adjunct reading table—you'll find the Aeron's wheels are stiffly resistant to changing direction. They don't swivel smoothly in their casters. Finally, the Aeron refuses to adapt to different sitting styles: The plastic contour rails that shape the seat will allow only standard positions. For instance, if you want to cross one leg under the other, you're out of luck, because the contour's plastic edge will dig into your ankle.

The Aeron's had a fantastic run, but it's time for another top dog.

WINNER—FOR THOSE WHO PREFER HARD, SUPPORTIVE SEAT-BACKS:

Let's B, by Turnstone, $399
Personally, I'm not a fan of this chair. But it seemed important to make a distinction for those who (like one of my testers) have seen the decades take a toll on their backs. If you want a stiff seat-back that forces you to sit completely upright, this is the chair for you. The lower-back area on this seat is incredibly hard, with no give whatsoever. Don't bother trying to recline—you can loosen the seat-back tension to do so, but the chair doesn't seem to like it.

With its sky-blue, pilly fabric, the model I tested looked like it had been stolen from the bridge of a Star Trek ship. Undeniably cheerful, though. And my testers liked that the fabric was grippy, which prevents your bottom from sliding forward and drawing you into a slump.

Bottom line: This is a tremendous value at this price—so long as you are not inclined to recline.

OVERALL WINNER:

Liberty, by Humanscale, $955
I can't say enough about this chair. The child of design legend Niels Diffrient (who has worked with the studios of Eero Saarinen and Henry Dreyfus), the Liberty is as functional as it is elegant. This sit is the bomb.

Let's start with the seat-back: pure mesh, with no support beams of any sort that might dig into your back. The seat-back's structure comes simply from the seams of the mesh's three-panel construction, giving the back its shape, its firmness, and its ability to conform to your body. As the Aeron previously showed us, mesh is not only attractive but reduces the chair's weight and increases its airflow (perfect for those who tend to have sweaty backs).

Me, I'm a constant recliner. There's some evidence that reclining is the preferable posture for spinal health. The further you recline, the more your weight gets transferred from your spine to the chair's back cushion. I looked for a fully reclining office chair (a design known as "zero-gravity"—like the position astronauts sit in), but it seems everybody stopped making them about five years ago (you can find zero-gravity chairs for the home here). Even though it's healthier, and for some might be more conducive to high productivity, full recline has failed to catch on—no doubt because it just looks too lazy in an office setting.

Anyway, my fellow recliners will adore the Liberty. The joy of this thing is in its lean. As your shoulders go aft, the chair-back tilts itself so as to press forward against your lumbar region (instead of leaving an unsupported gap there, as most chairs do). No matter how far you recline, the Liberty never feels at all tippy.

And, there are no knobs and levers to contend with. The Liberty is designed to use your own body weight as a counterbalance. You needn't adjust any tension settings—just lean to whichever angle you like, and the chair will comfortably stay there. It feels natural, like it's an extension of your spine.

The total lack of adjustment knobs makes a ton of sense. Most people are not the first to use their office chairs. By the time you get a third-hand chair, the settings have been messed with hundreds of times and the instruction booklet is long gone. Even if you manage to figure out what each lever does, you often feel unsure of yourself—with so many possible adjustment permutations, you always suspect that you've chosen a suboptimal mix.

My one complaint with the Liberty is that they took the anti-knob mania a step too far. There are no adjusters to raise or lower the armrests. This can be a problem when trying to pair the chair with higher or lower desk heights (or for a person with a particularly long or short humerus).

But this is nitpicking. Here we have the Aeron's logical successor. Every bit as sleek, without the superfluously techy features. The Liberty was the most expensive chair I tested, but in this case, it's well worth it to pay a bit more for the good sit. Put that Aeron on Craigslist, and slide your moneymaker into a Liberty.

Related in Slate

In 2003, Jessie Scanlon assessed the designs of Herman Miller's chairs. Two years earlier, Daniel H. Pink offered a history of your desk. Ron Lieber described the workplace of the future. Virginia Heffernan reviews the BBC series The Office; Dana Stevens reviews the series finale as well as the American version of the show.

Dengue Fever

> I would like to share this interesting discovery from a classmate's son
> who has just recovered from dengue fever. Apparently, his son was in the
> critical stage at the SJMC ICU when his pallet counts drops to 15 after
> 15 litres of blood transfusion.
>
> His father was so worried that he seek another friend's recommendation
> and his son was saved. He confessed to me that he give his son raw juice
> of the papaya leaves. From a pallet count of 45 after 20 litres of blood
> transfusion, and after drinking the raw papaya leaf juice, his pallet
> count jumps instantly to 135. Even the doctors and nurses were
> surprised. After the second day he was discharged. So he ask me to pass
> this good news around.
>
> Accordingly it is raw papaya leaves, 2pcs just cleaned and pound and
> squeeze with filter cloth. You will only get one tablespoon per leaf. So
> two tablespoon per serving once a day. Do not boil or cook or rinse with
> hot water, it will loose its strength. Only the leafy part and no stem
> or sap. It is very bitter and you have to swallow it like Won Low Kat.
> But it works.
>
> Papaya Juice - Cure for Dengue
>
> You may have heard this elsewhere but if not I am glad to inform you
> that papaya juice is a natural cure for dengue fever. As dengue fever is
> rampant now, I think it's good to share this with all.
>
> A friend of mine had dengue last year. It was a very serious situation
> for her as her platelet count had dropped to 28,000 after 3 days in
> hospital and water has started to fill up her lung. She had difficulty
> in breathing. She was only 32-year old. Doctor says there's no cure for
> dengue. We just have to wait for her body immune system to build up
> resistance against dengue and fight its own battle. She already had 2
> blood transfusion and all of us were praying very hard as her platelet
> continued to drop since the first day she was admitted.
>
> Fortunately her mother-in-law heard that papaya juice would help to
> reduce the fever and got some papaya leaves, pounded them and squeeze
> the juice out for her. The next day, her platelet count started to
> increase, her fever subside. We continued to feed her with papaya juice
> and she recovered after 3 days!!! Amazing but it's true. It's believed
> one's body would be overheated when one is down with dengue and that
> also caused the patient to have fever. papaya juice has cooling effect.
> Thus, it helps to reduce the heatiness in one's body, thus the fever
> will go away. I found that its also good when one is having sore throat
> or suffering from heatiness.
>
> Those of us staying in Subang Jaya are lucky as we can get papaya juice
> easily from the Penang Cendol stall in Giant! One cup is only RM1.
> Tomorrow I will buy a cup for a patient in Assunta and urge him to try
> it.
>
> Please spread the news about this as lately there are many dengue cases.
> It's great if such natural cure could help to ease the sufferings of
> dengue patients. Furthermore it's so easily available. Just go to market
> and ask the makcik who sells ulam and they usually have papaya. Blend
> them and squeeze the juice! It's simple and miraculously effective!!

A True Friend

A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty,

He said...no.



She asked him if he would want to be with her forever....

and he said no.

She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry,

and once again he replied with a no.

She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down

her face the boy grabbed her arm and said....

You're not pretty you're beautiful.

I don't want to be with you forever, I NEED to be with you forever.

And I wouldn't cry if you walked away...I'd die...

SO NOW I WILL SAY:

I like you because of who you are to me....A true friend

and if I don't get this back I'll take the hint.

Tonight at midnight your true love will realize they like you.

Something good will happen to you at 1:00-4:00 PM tomorrow.

It could be anywhere -- AOL, Yahoo, outside of school, anywhere.

Get ready for the biggest shock of your life.

Please send to 15 people in 15 minutes.

Remember:

"A good friend will not come bail you out of jail....

But a true friend will be sitting next to you saying .....

WE screwed up!

Proud to be your Friend!

Make sure you read all the way down to the last sentence, and don't skip ahead.

I've learned....That life is like a roll of toilet paper.

The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

I've learned....That we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for.

I've learned....That money doesn't buy class.

I've learned....That it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.

I've learned...That under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.

I've learned....That the Lord didn't do it all in one day.

What makes me think I can?

I've learned....That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.

I've learned....That the less time I have to work, the more things I get done.

To all of you ... Make sure you read all the way down to the last sentence.

It's National Friendship Week.

Show your friends how much you care.

Send this to everyone you consider a FRIEND, even if it means sending it back to the person who sent it to you.

If it comes back to you, then you'll know you have a circle of friends.

HAPPY FRIENDSHIP WEEK TO YOU!!!!!!

YOU ARE MY FRIEND AND I am honored

Understanding Mom

A little boy came up to his mother in the kitchen one evening while she was fixing supper, and handed her a piece of paper that he had been writing on. After hi
s Mom dried her hands on an apron, she read it, and this is what it said:

For cutting the grass: $5.00
For cleaning up my room this week: $1.00
For going to the store for you: $.50
Baby-sitting my kid brother while you went shopping: $.25
Taking out the garbage: $1.00
For getting a good report card: $5.00
For cleaning up and raking the yard: $2.00
Total owed: $14.75

Well, his mother looked at him standing there, and the boy could see the memories flashing through her mind.
She picked up the pen, turned over the paper he'd written on, and this is what she wrote:

For the nine months I carried you while you were growing inside me:
No Charge
For all the nights that I've sat up with you, doctored and prayed for you:
No Charge
For all the trying times, and all the tears that you've caused through the years:
No Charge
For all the nights that were filled with dread, and for the worries I knew were ahead:
No Charge
For the toys, food, clothes, and even wiping your nose:
No Charge
Son, when you add it up, the cost of my love is:
No Charge.

When the boy finished reading what his mother had written, there were big tears in his eyes, and he looked straight at his mother and said, "Mom, I sure do love you." And then he took the pen and in great big letters he wrote: "PAID IN FULL".

Attitude

A small truth to make our Lifes 100%....... If A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z ... is

Equal to 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26



Then

H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K = 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98% only ,



then

K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E = 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96% only



L+O+V+E=12+15+22+5=54% only



L+U+C+K = 12+21+3+11 = 47% (don't most of us think this is most important???



Then what makes 100% Is it Money? ..... No!!!!!



Leadership? ...... NO!!!!



Every problem has a solution, only if we perhaps change our attitude. To go to the top, to that 100% what we really need to go further..... a bit more. ........



*******



*******



*******



*******



*******



*******



A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E = 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100% It is OUR ATTITUDE towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life 100%

Philippines in Crisis

Apropos of the article, "Philippines in Crisis," by
Malcolm Churchill, which appeared in the "Business
World," I couldn't agree more with his comparative
analysis of the economic performance of the
Philippines and Thailand.

When my Thai brother-in-law studied agriculture in the
Philippines in the 1960s, he believed that we had the
best educatipon in Southeast Asia. Visiting my
Filipino-Thai niece in Bangkok in 1990, I was very
impressed by the new Don Muang International Airport.
The Ninoy Aquino International Airport Terminal 3, on
the other hand, built several years ago, has never
operated due to the Supreme Court's decision to
nullify the Build-Operate-Transfer contract awarded to
PIATCO, the builder. Mired in litigation, nobody
knows for sure when it would start operating.

From the airport to the city cneter of Bangkok,
skyscrapers and high-rise buildings had mushroomed.
There were skyscrapers even in the red-light district
of Patpong. Can one imagine skyscrapers in Navotas or
Pateros?

Some 10.8 million tourists visited Thailand in 2002 to
see the sights--Buddhist temples, floating markets,
palaces, the resort island of Phuket, the bars and bar
girls of Pattaya and the northern city of Chiang Mai,
among others. Less than 2 million tourists visited the
Philippines in 2004 even if we have more superb
beaches and paradise islands.

Thailand's economy is booming. It is Southeast Asia's
second largest economy after Indonesia. Its exports
are more diversified compared to the Philipines' heavy
reliance on the export of electronics and computer
parts, not to mention manpower.

When the generals finally left the political scene in
the 1970s, Thailand's parliamentary democracy began to
mature and its economy started to take off. After the
fall of the Marcos dictatorship in 1986, the political
landscape of the Philippines has been littered by coup
attempts, terrorist acts by the Abu Sayyaf and
people's revolts--the prescription for political
instability.

A culture of savings

First posted 11:37pm (Mla time) Jan 13, 2005
By Michael Tan
Inquirer News Service

SOME of you may have caught the "Probe" special on Channel 5 last week entitled "Pera," focusing on Filipino problems with financial management at the individual and household levels. One of the most dramatic examples featured in the documentary was a man working as a messenger with a monthly salary of about P7,800 who had run up P80,000 in credit card debts.



On a national level, the Philippines was described as having one of the lowest savings rate in the world. In economic development terms, this means that we have very limited financial resources going into new investments that can move the country forward.



I was interviewed for that "Probe" documentary, and I shared several insights on why we have this problem, which I thought of recapping in today's column, together with some additional insights.



Nothing to save?

The usual answer to why we save so little is that, given the level of poverty in the country, most households have nothing to save. So many of our people live hand-to-mouth, their earnings not even enough to cover basic expenses.



And yet, people will point out, too, that those with very low incomes still spend on non-essential items, like buying a DVD player and TV set, or cigarettes and alcohol, or as in the case of the messenger featured in the special, P20,000 for a party to celebrate his child's first birthday!



How do we explain this? That's where we get a host of other explanations, many of which cluster around the "culture of poverty" thesis. One variation on this thesis is that when you're poor, you live for today. Without hope of a better future, you spend whatever comes your way.



One of my friends calls this the "one-day millionaire" syndrome. I've seen it so many times, the most heartbreaking examples coming with many of our overseas workers, especially those who come home after working as entertainers in Japan. They come home with lots of dollars and yen, check the whole family into a four- or five-star hotel, host several parties and, of course, give away all kinds of “pasalubong” [gifts], and in a few weeks, all there earnings are gone.



Sharing our blessings?

Ironically, such behavior may actually come from our norm of sharing good fortune. Even the idea of the “pasalubong,” gifts you bring back from a trip, is a way of sharing your blessings. I recently had some debates with relatives over the lavish parties thrown for a one-year-old child and the explanation is that a child is God's blessing and we need to celebrate and share this blessing by hosting a grand affair.



I don't buy that argument completely. We all know these birthday parties are often intended more for the adults than for the child, a way of building alliances. In fact, lavish parties are the general norm, for children and for adults, and these are done more for social reasons than for anything else. We host the parties to build business and social links.



There's also something tribal in all this. In many societies, there is the "big man syndrome": a tribal leader is expected to sponsor big feasts from time to time as a way of redistributing his wealth as well as asserting his authority and influence. As cultural practices go, the "big man" and the elite get imitated by the lower strata of society and in the end, you have even the poor trying to outdo each other with extravagance. I've heard it time and time again, the concern that neighbors will talk if you hold too small a baptismal party for Junior.



Conspicuous consumption

The "big man feast" is only one of several historical hindrances that work against an ethic of saving in the Philippines. The fiesta was actually a modification of "big man feast," this time a community effort to show off a town's wealth. In the social sciences, we call this conspicuous consumption.

I've also wondered about the post-World War II era contributing to all this conspicuous consumption. Because we were wealthier that many other countries in the region, we were busy flying off to Hong Kong on weekends, holding lavish parties where champagne flowed from fountains (I am not kidding here), in other words, grand opulence. Other countries, in contrast, launched austerity campaigns, urging citizens to save and to patronize local products. We laughed at them, boasting of our imported goods.

Now, of course, those countries that practiced austerity are importing Filipinos to work for them and, in turn, our Filipino overseas workers spend their hard-earned money to buy other countries' goods.

We are now at an added disadvantage because not only did we skip an era of austerity, we leapfrogged into this 21st century of massive consumerism. We are told, "Buy! Buy! Buy!" and we are flooded with all kinds of goods, including fairly cheap ones with which to tempt the lower classes, from cell phones to DVD players. We also have liberal credit card policies, which allow even messengers to get one, and to rapidly rack up debts.

Reversing the trend

It's a dangerous situation we're in, and we better start thinking of strategies at home, in schools and in offices, to create what the Asian Development Bank calls a "culture of savings." (The ADB had a study noting how our overseas workers tend to spend their money on other countries' goods rather than plowing the money back into the Philippines for economic and social development.)



We have to start especially with children, the current crop being a generation exposed to a bewildering variety of consumer goods -- and advertising to push those goods. Schools can incorporate budgetary management into math classes. And we really should include credit card management in our college courses.



There's much we can do at home, with those children's parties, for example. I have nothing against celebrating birthdays, but let's reinvent these parties. My godchildren, Tess and Dennis Batangan, give birthday parties for their children but tell friends to bring toys to donate to indigent children.

When one of Doctors Delen and Boying de la Paz's sons asks why they can't get a newer cell phone model, they remind the kids: a cell phone is for communicating, do you really need the camera and the MP3 player?



Another couple working with me at the University of the Philippines, Zen and Leo Quintilla, tells their son that instead of spending for some non-essential item, they're putting the money into his educational plan, preparing for college.



Last Christmas, many offices canceled their Christmas parties and donated the money instead to disaster relief. These are encouraging signs that we can build a culture of savings, linked as other important social values: compassion, foresight, mutual help.



We better move fast. Already I see dangerous new cultural beliefs emerging. On the "Probe" documentary, the messenger said he doesn't save because there's a belief now that by doing so, you actually invite financial emergencies like illnesses! The distorted reasoning: don't save, and you won't have the emergencies.

Australian Tourism

Australian Tourism Website:

The questions below about Australia are from potential visitors. They were
posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual
responses by the website officials, who obviously have a sense of humour.

1. Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on
TV, how do the plants grow? (UK).
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them
die.

2. Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.

3. Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad
tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.

4. Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden)
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.

5. Q: Are there any cash points in Australia? Can you send me a list of
them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?

6. Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia?
(USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.
Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does
not... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings
Cross. Come naked.

7. Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and
we'll send the rest of the directions.

8. Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

9. Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which
is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in
Kings Cross. Come naked.

10. Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? ( UK)
A: You are a British politician, right?

11. Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year
round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilisation of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is
illegal.

12. Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense
rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All
Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make
good pets.

13. Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget
its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)
A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum
trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare
them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

14. Q: Do you have perfume in Australia? (France)
A: No, we don't stink.

15. Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can
you tell me where I can sell it in Australia? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

16. Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female
population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay night-clubs.

17. Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)
A: Only at Christmas.

18. Q: I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl
I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross. Can you help? (USA)
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.

19. Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first

Names mean so Much

A little Indian boy asked his father, the big chief
and witch doctor of the tribe, "Papa, why is it that we
always have long names, while the white men have
shorter names - Bill, Tex or Sam, for example?"

His father replied, "Look, son, our names represent a symbol,
a sign, or a poem for our culture not like the white men,
who live all together and repeat their names from
generation to generation. Also, it is part of our makeup
that in spite of everything, we survive.

For example, your sister's name is Small Romantic Moon Over The Lake,
because on the night she was born, there was a beautiful moon
reflected in the lake.

Then there's your brother, Big White Horse of the Prairies,
because he was born on a day that the big white horse who
gallops over the prairies of the world appeared near our camp
and is a symbol of our capacity to live and the life force of our people.

It's very simple and easy to understand.

Do you have any other questions, Little Broken Condom Made in China?"

Why We Forward Jokes

A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man
was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred
to him that he was dead.

He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside
him had been dead for years. He wondered where the
road was leading them.

After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall
along one side of the road. It looked like fine marble. At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight.

When he was standing before it he saw a magnificent
gate in the arch that looked like mother-of-pearl,
and the street that led to the gate looked like pure
gold. He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as
he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side.

When he was close enough, he called out, "Excuse me,
where are we?"

"This is Heaven, sir," the man answered.

"Wow! Would you happen to have some water?" the man asked.

"Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice
water brought right up."

The man gestured, and the gate began to open.

"Can my friend," gesturing toward his dog, "come in,
too?" the traveler asked.

"I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets."

The man thought a moment and then turned back toward
the road and continued the way he had been going with his dog.

After another long walk, and at the top of another
long hill, he came to a dirt road leading through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence.

As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside,
leaning against a tree and reading a book.

"Excuse me!" he called to the man. "Do you have any
water?"

"Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there, come on in."

"How about my friend here?" the traveler gestured to
the dog.

"There should be a bowl by the pump."

They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was
an old-fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it.

The traveler filled the water bowl and took a long
drink himself, then he gave some to the dog.

When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward
the man who was standing by the tree.

"What do you call this place?" the traveler asked.

"This is Heaven," he answered.

"Well, that's confusing," the traveler said. "The man
down the road said that was Heaven, too."

"Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and
pearly gates? Nope. That's hell."

"Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name
like that?"

"No, we're just happy that they screen out the folks
who would leave their best friends behind."

Soooo...

Sometimes, we wonder why friends keep forwarding jokes to us without writing a word.

Maybe this will explain.

When you are very busy, but still want to keep in
touch, guess what you do? You forward jokes.

When you have nothing to say, but still want to keep
contact, you forward jokes.

When you have something to say, but don't know what,
and don't know how, you forward jokes.

Also to let you know that you are still remembered,
you are still important, you are still loved, you are still cared for, guess what you get?

A forwarded joke.

So, next time if you get a joke, don't think that you've been sent just another forwarded joke, but that you've been thought of today and your friend on the other end of your computer wanted to send you a smile.

A REAL FRIEND TEST!!

A REAL FRIEND TEST!!

A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest.
A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps himself.

A simple friend has never seen you cry.
A real friend has shoulders soggy from your tears.

A simple friend doesn't know your parents' first names.
A real friend has their phone numbers in his address book.

A simple friend brings a bottle of wine to your party.
A real friend comes early to help you cook and stays late to
help you clean.

A simple friend hates it when you call after he has gone to bed.
A real friend asks you why you took so long to call.

A simple friend seeks to talk with you about your problems.
A real friend seeks to help you with your problems.

A simple friend wonders about your romantic history.
A real friend could blackmail you with it.

A simple friend thinks the friendship is over when you have an argument.
A real friend calls you after you had a fight.

A simple friend expects you to always be there for them.
A real friend expects to always be there for you!

A simple friend reads this e-mail and deletes it.
A real friend passes it on and sends it back to you!

Pass this on to anyone you care about......if you get it back you have no
beginning, no end.
It keeps us together, like our Circle of Friends.

Today I pass the friendship ball to you. Pass it on to someone who is a
friend to you...

The Creation of the Dog

On the first day God created the dog.

God said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. I will give you a life span of twenty years."

The dog said, "That's too long to be barking. Give me ten years and I'll give you back the other ten." So God agreed.

On the second day God created the monkey. God said, "Entertain people, do monkey tricks, make them laugh. I'll give you a twenty-year life span."

The monkey said, "How boring, monkey tricks for twenty years? I don't think so. Dog gave you back ten, so that's what I'll do too, okay?" And God agreed.

On the third day God created the cow. God said, "You must go to the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer. I will give you a life span of sixty years."

The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. Let me have twenty and I'll give back the other forty." And God agreed again.

On the fourth day God created man. God said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. I'll give you twenty years."

Man said, "What? Only twenty years! Tell you what, I'll take my twenty, and the forty the cow gave back and the ten the monkey gave back and the ten the dog gave back, that makes eighty, okay?"

"Okay," said God, "You've got a deal."

So that is why the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play, and enjoy ourselves; for the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family; for the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren; and for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Vans for Rent

Sorry for the off topic, We are pleased to offer you our rental
service for your Corporate trips, Seminar / Conventions, Out of town
trips, Airport Transfer and even your own personal trips. We have a
number of passenger vans such as Nissan Urvan Escapade/Shuttle Van,
Toyota Hi-Ace Grandia / Commuter Van and MB100 Van units available for
rent. Currently, we are enjoying the trust of our regular clients in
the industry of Hotel & Tourism, Media, Pharmaceuticals, Telcos, Banks
Call Centers etc. Our rates will depend on the trip itinerary but
assures of affordable rental fees within the Metro or to any point of
Luzon. Please do not hesitate to contact me for your inquiries and
looking forward to be your long term business partners for your
transport requirements. Thank you & have great week ahead of you.

MOBILE: +63 9228111566
EMAIL: vans4rent@gmail.com