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ErgoBlog

2006-08-13T02:09:00.000-07:00

http://www.ergoblog.com/ - a blog about ergonomics

Sit Happens: A search for the best chair.

2006-08-13T02:06:00.000-07:00

Source: By Seth Stevenson
Posted Tuesday, Dec. 6, 2005, at 1:55 PM ET

Modern office chairs have grown far too complicated. Their underbellies have sprouted gnarly forests of knobs and levers. Their instruction manuals have thickened into tomes. On occasion, new chairs are equipped with explanatory CD-ROMs. This is absurd: Since when have we needed an animated schematic to teach us how to sit on our keisters?

Answer: Roughly since 1994—the year of the Aeron.

The debut of the Herman Miller Aeron chair revolutionized office furniture. Where executive chairs had once flaunted their acres of sumptuous, buttery leather, the Aeron was a sleek skeleton of metal and mesh. All interlocking parts and ergonomic contours. It was the perfect techno-throne for the Internet age, and in the past decade it's taken its place among the most well-known chairs in history—as recognizable as an Eames or an Adirondack.

But all fashion is fleeting. The Aeron is looking very ante-millennial these days. While its presence behind a CEO's desk once conveyed dynamism and with-it-ness, today it suggests that the office may be due for redecoration. There's precedent for this: Remember when the high-tech, overdesigned Nike sneakers of the late-1990s/early-2000s got gradually out-cooled by throwback Pumas? I predict the Aeron will likewise step aside as a slew of simpler, less nerdy office chairs ascend.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. The Aeron still remains a spectacular success, sales-wise. And my mission here is not to trend-forecast. It's to find the best desk chair out there. With this in mind, I recently tried out six popular office-chair models at a variety of price points. I brought each chair into Slate's D.C. bureau to be tested—over a period of several weeks—under real-world office conditions. I assessed the chairs based on comfort, how well they adapted to multiple postures, their maneuverability around the floor, and their aesthetics, among other factors. I conducted what office managers term a "chair rodeo," asking Slatesters to try the chairs in succession and then to carefully rank their favorites. By the end of my trials, each chair had been sat on by at least seven different asses. (Or, as they prefer to be called, Slate editors.)

So, which chair is best? My findings, from worst to first:

UNSITTABLE:

Cachet, by Steelcase, $508
This is glorified lawn furniture. There's no cushioning here—only hard plastic, which (as you might expect) looks, feels, and very much smells like plastic. The design also steals the classic lawn-chair look, with its slatted construction. Unfortunately, as with lawn chairs, your thighs get uncomfortably extruded between those rough ribbons. One of my heavier testers (a 200-pound guy, give or take) reported that the Cachet was almost unwilling to hold his weight. This thing just feels cheaply made. Five-hundy for a lawn chair with wheels? No thanks.

Celle, by Herman Miller, $629
A lower-cost alternative from the maker of the Aeron, the Celle (pronounced "sell-a") turned out to be the Cachet's stiffest competition. By that I mean: 1) It's really stiff—with padding that is thin and hard, and 2) It sucked almost as bad. This chair is, in a word, unforgiving. The moment I sat down I wished to stand up. The tiny nubs on the chair's back pad prod into your spine, as though it were a torture device rather than a piece of task-oriented furniture. The Celle seems reluctant to recline at all, and it gets quite tippy if you force the issue. Its best feature might be its ample size and sturdiness: One Slatester described it as a "double-wide big boy," and indeed, it appears it could easily handle an XXX-L office worker.

VERY GOOD, BUT NOT SUPERB:

Leap, by Steelcase, $924
This is a handsome chair. I tested the black leather model—which manages to exude an executive vibe yet avoids any hint of pomposity. In addition to looking good, this leather chair is quite comfy. But it does that whoopee cushion, air-rushing-out thing when you sit down too fast. This is an embarrassing flaw, and it also makes me worry about the seat's long-term durability—I feel a more solid construction wouldn't count on the seat to compress and reinflate like this. The Leap does recline smoothly, and even at full lean its wheels remain steadily rooted to the floor. At this price, though, it ought to be a radical step forward in office furniture, and it's not—it's just the same old sit.

Aeron, by Herman Miller, $899
Down goes the champ.

Don't get me wrong—this is a very good chair. Its "pellicle" mesh is the grippiest fabric on any of these seats, and it instantly conforms to your haunches like a futuristic hammock. Many still find the Aeron's iconic style sexy and desirable, even a decade on—at least one Slate editor coveted my sample Aeron from the moment he first laid eyes on it.

But over time, all flaws are brought to light. As I suggested above, I feel the Aeron's look is somewhat dated. There are functional problems, too. If you recline to put your feet up on your desk (my preferred office posture), the Aeron becomes seriously tippy. And if you roll around your office—say, from your desk to an adjunct reading table—you'll find the Aeron's wheels are stiffly resistant to changing direction. They don't swivel smoothly in their casters. Finally, the Aeron refuses to adapt to different sitting styles: The plastic contour rails that shape the seat will allow only standard positions. For instance, if you want to cross one leg under the other, you're out of luck, because the contour's plastic edge will dig into your ankle.

The Aeron's had a fantastic run, but it's time for another top dog.

WINNER—FOR THOSE WHO PREFER HARD, SUPPORTIVE SEAT-BACKS:

Let's B, by Turnstone, $399
Personally, I'm not a fan of this chair. But it seemed important to make a distinction for those who (like one of my testers) have seen the decades take a toll on their backs. If you want a stiff seat-back that forces you to sit completely upright, this is the chair for you. The lower-back area on this seat is incredibly hard, with no give whatsoever. Don't bother trying to recline—you can loosen the seat-back tension to do so, but the chair doesn't seem to like it.

With its sky-blue, pilly fabric, the model I tested looked like it had been stolen from the bridge of a Star Trek ship. Undeniably cheerful, though. And my testers liked that the fabric was grippy, which prevents your bottom from sliding forward and drawing you into a slump.

Bottom line: This is a tremendous value at this price—so long as you are not inclined to recline.

OVERALL WINNER:

Liberty, by Humanscale, $955
I can't say enough about this chair. The child of design legend Niels Diffrient (who has worked with the studios of Eero Saarinen and Henry Dreyfus), the Liberty is as functional as it is elegant. This sit is the bomb.

Let's start with the seat-back: pure mesh, with no support beams of any sort that might dig into your back. The seat-back's structure comes simply from the seams of the mesh's three-panel construction, giving the back its shape, its firmness, and its ability to conform to your body. As the Aeron previously showed us, mesh is not only attractive but reduces the chair's weight and increases its airflow (perfect for those who tend to have sweaty backs).

Me, I'm a constant recliner. There's some evidence that reclining is the preferable posture for spinal health. The further you recline, the more your weight gets transferred from your spine to the chair's back cushion. I looked for a fully reclining office chair (a design known as "zero-gravity"—like the position astronauts sit in), but it seems everybody stopped making them about five years ago (you can find zero-gravity chairs for the home here). Even though it's healthier, and for some might be more conducive to high productivity, full recline has failed to catch on—no doubt because it just looks too lazy in an office setting.

Anyway, my fellow recliners will adore the Liberty. The joy of this thing is in its lean. As your shoulders go aft, the chair-back tilts itself so as to press forward against your lumbar region (instead of leaving an unsupported gap there, as most chairs do). No matter how far you recline, the Liberty never feels at all tippy.

And, there are no knobs and levers to contend with. The Liberty is designed to use your own body weight as a counterbalance. You needn't adjust any tension settings—just lean to whichever angle you like, and the chair will comfortably stay there. It feels natural, like it's an extension of your spine.

The total lack of adjustment knobs makes a ton of sense. Most people are not the first to use their office chairs. By the time you get a third-hand chair, the settings have been messed with hundreds of times and the instruction booklet is long gone. Even if you manage to figure out what each lever does, you often feel unsure of yourself—with so many possible adjustment permutations, you always suspect that you've chosen a suboptimal mix.

My one complaint with the Liberty is that they took the anti-knob mania a step too far. There are no adjusters to raise or lower the armrests. This can be a problem when trying to pair the chair with higher or lower desk heights (or for a person with a particularly long or short humerus).

But this is nitpicking. Here we have the Aeron's logical successor. Every bit as sleek, without the superfluously techy features. The Liberty was the most expensive chair I tested, but in this case, it's well worth it to pay a bit more for the good sit. Put that Aeron on Craigslist, and slide your moneymaker into a Liberty.

Related in Slate

In 2003, Jessie Scanlon assessed the designs of Herman Miller's chairs. Two years earlier, Daniel H. Pink offered a history of your desk. Ron Lieber described the workplace of the future. Virginia Heffernan reviews the BBC series The Office; Dana Stevens reviews the series finale as well as the American version of the show.

Dengue Fever

2005-10-16T19:28:00.000-07:00

> I would like to share this interesting discovery from a classmate's son
> who has just recovered from dengue fever. Apparently, his son was in the
> critical stage at the SJMC ICU when his pallet counts drops to 15 after
> 15 litres of blood transfusion.
>
> His father was so worried that he seek another friend's recommendation
> and his son was saved. He confessed to me that he give his son raw juice
> of the papaya leaves. From a pallet count of 45 after 20 litres of blood
> transfusion, and after drinking the raw papaya leaf juice, his pallet
> count jumps instantly to 135. Even the doctors and nurses were
> surprised. After the second day he was discharged. So he ask me to pass
> this good news around.
>
> Accordingly it is raw papaya leaves, 2pcs just cleaned and pound and
> squeeze with filter cloth. You will only get one tablespoon per leaf. So
> two tablespoon per serving once a day. Do not boil or cook or rinse with
> hot water, it will loose its strength. Only the leafy part and no stem
> or sap. It is very bitter and you have to swallow it like Won Low Kat.
> But it works.
>
> Papaya Juice - Cure for Dengue
>
> You may have heard this elsewhere but if not I am glad to inform you
> that papaya juice is a natural cure for dengue fever. As dengue fever is
> rampant now, I think it's good to share this with all.
>
> A friend of mine had dengue last year. It was a very serious situation
> for her as her platelet count had dropped to 28,000 after 3 days in
> hospital and water has started to fill up her lung. She had difficulty
> in breathing. She was only 32-year old. Doctor says there's no cure for
> dengue. We just have to wait for her body immune system to build up
> resistance against dengue and fight its own battle. She already had 2
> blood transfusion and all of us were praying very hard as her platelet
> continued to drop since the first day she was admitted.
>
> Fortunately her mother-in-law heard that papaya juice would help to
> reduce the fever and got some papaya leaves, pounded them and squeeze
> the juice out for her. The next day, her platelet count started to
> increase, her fever subside. We continued to feed her with papaya juice
> and she recovered after 3 days!!! Amazing but it's true. It's believed
> one's body would be overheated when one is down with dengue and that
> also caused the patient to have fever. papaya juice has cooling effect.
> Thus, it helps to reduce the heatiness in one's body, thus the fever
> will go away. I found that its also good when one is having sore throat
> or suffering from heatiness.
>
> Those of us staying in Subang Jaya are lucky as we can get papaya juice
> easily from the Penang Cendol stall in Giant! One cup is only RM1.
> Tomorrow I will buy a cup for a patient in Assunta and urge him to try
> it.
>
> Please spread the news about this as lately there are many dengue cases.
> It's great if such natural cure could help to ease the sufferings of
> dengue patients. Furthermore it's so easily available. Just go to market
> and ask the makcik who sells ulam and they usually have papaya. Blend
> them and squeeze the juice! It's simple and miraculously effective!!

A True Friend

2005-10-11T20:19:00.000-07:00

A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty,

He said...no.

She asked him if he would want to be with her forever....

and he said no.

She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry,

and once again he replied with a no.

She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down

her face the boy grabbed her arm and said....

You're not pretty you're beautiful.

I don't want to be with you forever, I NEED to be with you forever.

And I wouldn't cry if you walked away...I'd die...

SO NOW I WILL SAY:

I like you because of who you are to me....A true friend

and if I don't get this back I'll take the hint.

Tonight at midnight your true love will realize they like you.

Something good will happen to you at 1:00-4:00 PM tomorrow.

It could be anywhere -- AOL, Yahoo, outside of school, anywhere.

Get ready for the biggest shock of your life.

Please send to 15 people in 15 minutes.

Remember:

"A good friend will not come bail you out of jail....

But a true friend will be sitting next to you saying .....

WE screwed up!

Proud to be your Friend!

Make sure you read all the way down to the last sentence, and don't skip ahead.

I've learned....That life is like a roll of toilet paper.

The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

I've learned....That we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for.

I've learned....That money doesn't buy class.

I've learned....That it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.

I've learned...That under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.

I've learned....That the Lord didn't do it all in one day.

What makes me think I can?

I've learned....That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.

I've learned....That the less time I have to work, the more things I get done.

To all of you ... Make sure you read all the way down to the last sentence.

It's National Friendship Week.

Show your friends how much you care.

Send this to everyone you consider a FRIEND, even if it means sending it back to the person who sent it to you.

If it comes back to you, then you'll know you have a circle of friends.

HAPPY FRIENDSHIP WEEK TO YOU!!!!!!

YOU ARE MY FRIEND AND I am honored

Understanding Mom

2005-10-11T20:10:00.000-07:00

A little boy came up to his mother in the kitchen one evening while she was fixing supper, and handed her a piece of paper that he had been writing on. After hi
s Mom dried her hands on an apron, she read it, and this is what it said:

For cutting the grass: $5.00
For cleaning up my room this week: $1.00
For going to the store for you: $.50
Baby-sitting my kid brother while you went shopping: $.25
Taking out the garbage: $1.00
For getting a good report card: $5.00
For cleaning up and raking the yard: $2.00
Total owed: $14.75

Well, his mother looked at him standing there, and the boy could see the memories flashing through her mind.
She picked up the pen, turned over the paper he'd written on, and this is what she wrote:

For the nine months I carried you while you were growing inside me:
No Charge
For all the nights that I've sat up with you, doctored and prayed for you:
No Charge
For all the trying times, and all the tears that you've caused through the years:
No Charge
For all the nights that were filled with dread, and for the worries I knew were ahead:
No Charge
For the toys, food, clothes, and even wiping your nose:
No Charge
Son, when you add it up, the cost of my love is:
No Charge.

When the boy finished reading what his mother had written, there were big tears in his eyes, and he looked straight at his mother and said, "Mom, I sure do love you." And then he took the pen and in great big letters he wrote: "PAID IN FULL".

Attitude

2005-09-21T00:15:00.000-07:00

A small truth to make our Lifes 100%....... If A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z ... is

Equal to 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26

Then

H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K = 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98% only ,

then

K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E = 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96% only

L+O+V+E=12+15+22+5=54% only

L+U+C+K = 12+21+3+11 = 47% (don't most of us think this is most important???

Then what makes 100% Is it Money? ..... No!!!!!

Leadership? ...... NO!!!!

Every problem has a solution, only if we perhaps change our attitude. To go to the top, to that 100% what we really need to go further..... a bit more. ........

*******

*******

*******

*******

*******

*******

A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E = 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100% It is OUR ATTITUDE towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life 100%

Philippines in Crisis

2005-09-05T20:19:00.000-07:00

Apropos of the article, "Philippines in Crisis," by
Malcolm Churchill, which appeared in the "Business
World," I couldn't agree more with his comparative
analysis of the economic performance of the
Philippines and Thailand.

When my Thai brother-in-law studied agriculture in the
Philippines in the 1960s, he believed that we had the
best educatipon in Southeast Asia. Visiting my
Filipino-Thai niece in Bangkok in 1990, I was very
impressed by the new Don Muang International Airport.
The Ninoy Aquino International Airport Terminal 3, on
the other hand, built several years ago, has never
operated due to the Supreme Court's decision to
nullify the Build-Operate-Transfer contract awarded to
PIATCO, the builder. Mired in litigation, nobody
knows for sure when it would start operating.

From the airport to the city cneter of Bangkok,
skyscrapers and high-rise buildings had mushroomed.
There were skyscrapers even in the red-light district
of Patpong. Can one imagine skyscrapers in Navotas or
Pateros?

Some 10.8 million tourists visited Thailand in 2002 to
see the sights--Buddhist temples, floating markets,
palaces, the resort island of Phuket, the bars and bar
girls of Pattaya and the northern city of Chiang Mai,
among others. Less than 2 million tourists visited the
Philippines in 2004 even if we have more superb
beaches and paradise islands.

Thailand's economy is booming. It is Southeast Asia's
second largest economy after Indonesia. Its exports
are more diversified compared to the Philipines' heavy
reliance on the export of electronics and computer
parts, not to mention manpower.

When the generals finally left the political scene in
the 1970s, Thailand's parliamentary democracy began to
mature and its economy started to take off. After the
fall of the Marcos dictatorship in 1986, the political
landscape of the Philippines has been littered by coup
attempts, terrorist acts by the Abu Sayyaf and
people's revolts--the prescription for political
instability.

A culture of savings

2005-09-05T20:18:00.000-07:00

First posted 11:37pm (Mla time) Jan 13, 2005
By Michael Tan
Inquirer News Service

SOME of you may have caught the "Probe" special on Channel 5 last week entitled "Pera," focusing on Filipino problems with financial management at the individual and household levels. One of the most dramatic examples featured in the documentary was a man working as a messenger with a monthly salary of about P7,800 who had run up P80,000 in credit card debts.

On a national level, the Philippines was described as having one of the lowest savings rate in the world. In economic development terms, this means that we have very limited financial resources going into new investments that can move the country forward.

I was interviewed for that "Probe" documentary, and I shared several insights on why we have this problem, which I thought of recapping in today's column, together with some additional insights.

Nothing to save?

The usual answer to why we save so little is that, given the level of poverty in the country, most households have nothing to save. So many of our people live hand-to-mouth, their earnings not even enough to cover basic expenses.

And yet, people will point out, too, that those with very low incomes still spend on non-essential items, like buying a DVD player and TV set, or cigarettes and alcohol, or as in the case of the messenger featured in the special, P20,000 for a party to celebrate his child's first birthday!

How do we explain this? That's where we get a host of other explanations, many of which cluster around the "culture of poverty" thesis. One variation on this thesis is that when you're poor, you live for today. Without hope of a better future, you spend whatever comes your way.

One of my friends calls this the "one-day millionaire" syndrome. I've seen it so many times, the most heartbreaking examples coming with many of our overseas workers, especially those who come home after working as entertainers in Japan. They come home with lots of dollars and yen, check the whole family into a four- or five-star hotel, host several parties and, of course, give away all kinds of “pasalubong” [gifts], and in a few weeks, all there earnings are gone.

Sharing our blessings?

Ironically, such behavior may actually come from our norm of sharing good fortune. Even the idea of the “pasalubong,” gifts you bring back from a trip, is a way of sharing your blessings. I recently had some debates with relatives over the lavish parties thrown for a one-year-old child and the explanation is that a child is God's blessing and we need to celebrate and share this blessing by hosting a grand affair.

I don't buy that argument completely. We all know these birthday parties are often intended more for the adults than for the child, a way of building alliances. In fact, lavish parties are the general norm, for children and for adults, and these are done more for social reasons than for anything else. We host the parties to build business and social links.

There's also something tribal in all this. In many societies, there is the "big man syndrome": a tribal leader is expected to sponsor big feasts from time to time as a way of redistributing his wealth as well as asserting his authority and influence. As cultural practices go, the "big man" and the elite get imitated by the lower strata of society and in the end, you have even the poor trying to outdo each other with extravagance. I've heard it time and time again, the concern that neighbors will talk if you hold too small a baptismal party for Junior.

Conspicuous consumption

The "big man feast" is only one of several historical hindrances that work against an ethic of saving in the Philippines. The fiesta was actually a modification of "big man feast," this time a community effort to show off a town's wealth. In the social sciences, we call this conspicuous consumption.

I've also wondered about the post-World War II era contributing to all this conspicuous consumption. Because we were wealthier that many other countries in the region, we were busy flying off to Hong Kong on weekends, holding lavish parties where champagne flowed from fountains (I am not kidding here), in other words, grand opulence. Other countries, in contrast, launched austerity campaigns, urging citizens to save and to patronize local products. We laughed at them, boasting of our imported goods.

Now, of course, those countries that practiced austerity are importing Filipinos to work for them and, in turn, our Filipino overseas workers spend their hard-earned money to buy other countries' goods.

We are now at an added disadvantage because not only did we skip an era of austerity, we leapfrogged into this 21st century of massive consumerism. We are told, "Buy! Buy! Buy!" and we are flooded with all kinds of goods, including fairly cheap ones with which to tempt the lower classes, from cell phones to DVD players. We also have liberal credit card policies, which allow even messengers to get one, and to rapidly rack up debts.

Reversing the trend

It's a dangerous situation we're in, and we better start thinking of strategies at home, in schools and in offices, to create what the Asian Development Bank calls a "culture of savings." (The ADB had a study noting how our overseas workers tend to spend their money on other countries' goods rather than plowing the money back into the Philippines for economic and social development.)

We have to start especially with children, the current crop being a generation exposed to a bewildering variety of consumer goods -- and advertising to push those goods. Schools can incorporate budgetary management into math classes. And we really should include credit card management in our college courses.

There's much we can do at home, with those children's parties, for example. I have nothing against celebrating birthdays, but let's reinvent these parties. My godchildren, Tess and Dennis Batangan, give birthday parties for their children but tell friends to bring toys to donate to indigent children.

When one of Doctors Delen and Boying de la Paz's sons asks why they can't get a newer cell phone model, they remind the kids: a cell phone is for communicating, do you really need the camera and the MP3 player?

Another couple working with me at the University of the Philippines, Zen and Leo Quintilla, tells their son that instead of spending for some non-essential item, they're putting the money into his educational plan, preparing for college.

Last Christmas, many offices canceled their Christmas parties and donated the money instead to disaster relief. These are encouraging signs that we can build a culture of savings, linked as other important social values: compassion, foresight, mutual help.

We better move fast. Already I see dangerous new cultural beliefs emerging. On the "Probe" documentary, the messenger said he doesn't save because there's a belief now that by doing so, you actually invite financial emergencies like illnesses! The distorted reasoning: don't save, and you won't have the emergencies.

Australian Tourism

2005-09-04T21:38:00.000-07:00

Australian Tourism Website:

The questions below about Australia are from potential visitors. They were
posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual
responses by the website officials, who obviously have a sense of humour.

1. Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on
TV, how do the plants grow? (UK).
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them
die.

2. Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.

3. Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad
tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.

4. Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden)
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.

5. Q: Are there any cash points in Australia? Can you send me a list of
them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?

6. Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia?
(USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.
Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does
not... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings
Cross. Come naked.

7. Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and
we'll send the rest of the directions.

8. Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

9. Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which
is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in
Kings Cross. Come naked.

10. Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? ( UK)
A: You are a British politician, right?

11. Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year
round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilisation of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is
illegal.

12. Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense
rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All
Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make
good pets.

13. Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget
its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)
A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum
trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare
them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

14. Q: Do you have perfume in Australia? (France)
A: No, we don't stink.

15. Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can
you tell me where I can sell it in Australia? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

16. Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female
population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay night-clubs.

17. Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)
A: Only at Christmas.

18. Q: I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl
I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross. Can you help? (USA)
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.

19. Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first

Names mean so Much

2005-09-04T21:35:00.000-07:00

A little Indian boy asked his father, the big chief
and witch doctor of the tribe, "Papa, why is it that we
always have long names, while the white men have
shorter names - Bill, Tex or Sam, for example?"

His father replied, "Look, son, our names represent a symbol,
a sign, or a poem for our culture not like the white men,
who live all together and repeat their names from
generation to generation. Also, it is part of our makeup
that in spite of everything, we survive.

For example, your sister's name is Small Romantic Moon Over The Lake,
because on the night she was born, there was a beautiful moon
reflected in the lake.

Then there's your brother, Big White Horse of the Prairies,
because he was born on a day that the big white horse who
gallops over the prairies of the world appeared near our camp
and is a symbol of our capacity to live and the life force of our people.

It's very simple and easy to understand.

Do you have any other questions, Little Broken Condom Made in China?"

Why We Forward Jokes

2005-09-04T21:34:00.000-07:00

A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man
was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred
to him that he was dead.

He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside
him had been dead for years. He wondered where the
road was leading them.

After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall
along one side of the road. It looked like fine marble. At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight.

When he was standing before it he saw a magnificent
gate in the arch that looked like mother-of-pearl,
and the street that led to the gate looked like pure
gold. He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as
he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side.

When he was close enough, he called out, "Excuse me,
where are we?"

"This is Heaven, sir," the man answered.

"Wow! Would you happen to have some water?" the man asked.

"Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice
water brought right up."

The man gestured, and the gate began to open.

"Can my friend," gesturing toward his dog, "come in,
too?" the traveler asked.

"I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets."

The man thought a moment and then turned back toward
the road and continued the way he had been going with his dog.

After another long walk, and at the top of another
long hill, he came to a dirt road leading through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence.

As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside,
leaning against a tree and reading a book.

"Excuse me!" he called to the man. "Do you have any
water?"

"Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there, come on in."

"How about my friend here?" the traveler gestured to
the dog.

"There should be a bowl by the pump."

They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was
an old-fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it.

The traveler filled the water bowl and took a long
drink himself, then he gave some to the dog.

When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward
the man who was standing by the tree.

"What do you call this place?" the traveler asked.

"This is Heaven," he answered.

"Well, that's confusing," the traveler said. "The man
down the road said that was Heaven, too."

"Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and
pearly gates? Nope. That's hell."

"Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name
like that?"

"No, we're just happy that they screen out the folks
who would leave their best friends behind."

Soooo...

Sometimes, we wonder why friends keep forwarding jokes to us without writing a word.

Maybe this will explain.

When you are very busy, but still want to keep in
touch, guess what you do? You forward jokes.

When you have nothing to say, but still want to keep
contact, you forward jokes.

When you have something to say, but don't know what,
and don't know how, you forward jokes.

Also to let you know that you are still remembered,
you are still important, you are still loved, you are still cared for, guess what you get?

A forwarded joke.

So, next time if you get a joke, don't think that you've been sent just another forwarded joke, but that you've been thought of today and your friend on the other end of your computer wanted to send you a smile.

A REAL FRIEND TEST!!

2005-09-04T21:33:00.001-07:00

A REAL FRIEND TEST!!

A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest.
A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps himself.

A simple friend has never seen you cry.
A real friend has shoulders soggy from your tears.

A simple friend doesn't know your parents' first names.
A real friend has their phone numbers in his address book.

A simple friend brings a bottle of wine to your party.
A real friend comes early to help you cook and stays late to
help you clean.

A simple friend hates it when you call after he has gone to bed.
A real friend asks you why you took so long to call.

A simple friend seeks to talk with you about your problems.
A real friend seeks to help you with your problems.

A simple friend wonders about your romantic history.
A real friend could blackmail you with it.

A simple friend thinks the friendship is over when you have an argument.
A real friend calls you after you had a fight.

A simple friend expects you to always be there for them.
A real friend expects to always be there for you!

A simple friend reads this e-mail and deletes it.
A real friend passes it on and sends it back to you!

Pass this on to anyone you care about......if you get it back you have no
beginning, no end.
It keeps us together, like our Circle of Friends.

Today I pass the friendship ball to you. Pass it on to someone who is a
friend to you...

The Creation of the Dog

2005-09-04T21:33:00.000-07:00

On the first day God created the dog.

God said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. I will give you a life span of twenty years."

The dog said, "That's too long to be barking. Give me ten years and I'll give you back the other ten." So God agreed.

On the second day God created the monkey. God said, "Entertain people, do monkey tricks, make them laugh. I'll give you a twenty-year life span."

The monkey said, "How boring, monkey tricks for twenty years? I don't think so. Dog gave you back ten, so that's what I'll do too, okay?" And God agreed.

On the third day God created the cow. God said, "You must go to the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer. I will give you a life span of sixty years."

The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. Let me have twenty and I'll give back the other forty." And God agreed again.

On the fourth day God created man. God said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. I'll give you twenty years."

Man said, "What? Only twenty years! Tell you what, I'll take my twenty, and the forty the cow gave back and the ten the monkey gave back and the ten the dog gave back, that makes eighty, okay?"

"Okay," said God, "You've got a deal."

So that is why the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play, and enjoy ourselves; for the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family; for the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren; and for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Vans for Rent

2005-09-01T01:45:00.000-07:00

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EMAIL: vans4rent@gmail.com

Check your LOVE attitude....

2005-08-30T20:05:00.000-07:00

To find your love attitude number, add your birth month and your birthdate together. Keep reducing it until it's a single digit.

Example:
January 28
1+28 = 29
2+9 = 11
1+1 = 2;
Your love attitude number is 2.

If your number is:

One

You are charming imaginative and independent. Usually your style is ahead of others; you know what's in and what's way out. Sometimes you're a little too aggressive when it comes to pursuing a love interest. You have a way of drawing attention wherever you go, and this dramatic flair usually attracts the strongest guys. Your competitive nature either draws or repels guys/gals...but those who can't handle your power aren't your type anyway. At times you can be possessive, manipulating and demanding with your friends and in love relationships. You like guys/gals with lots of intelligence... and knock-'em-dead good looks don't hurt either.

Two

Your love nature is sentimental, romantic and kind. Your easygoing, mild manner allows almost everyone to feel very comfortable with you - especially shy guys/gals. Your modesty and tact enable you to get along easily with both sexes. You are a natural peacemaker and can be very persuasive with words, which helps you to gain the respect of your classmates. You can also be too sensitive at times, and your greatest drawback is a lack of confidence to stand up for yourself in conflict. Your favorite type of guy is a gentle, affectionate one who is also strong and playful. A great sense of humor is also a must. A guy/gal who loves to listen to music and dance should rank high on your list of
favorites, too.

Three

You are imaginative, fun-loving, thrill-seeking and expressive. You're so charming that you attract many friends and you are almost never lacking guys/gals. In your earlier years, you may be totally shy and self-conscious, but you'll lose those qualities in the high-school
years. You can be sort of vain or even a bit of a show-off when you get caught up in exciting events in your life, but you usually redeem yourself in some playful way before you lose a friend. Jealousy shows its ugly head sometimes, but generally you aren't affected by it unless your guy/gal tries to provoke it. In the guy/gal department, you prefer the athletic or artistic types. You're in absolute heaven when you find both of those qualities in the same guy/gal. When you're looking for love, a guy/gal who can make you laugh scores points, big time!

Four

You tend to be loyal, dedicated and good hearted. You're one of the most diligent students when you really try, and you tend to make your schoolwork a priority. You also express those same qualities in your love relationship. No one is more faithful and trusting than you. In fact, those tendencies can be a little negative in your romantic life. You may sometimes hang on too long to a guy/gal who doesn't give you the respect and love you deserve. You can be stubborn and a bit of a troublemaker if the mood strikes you but you can usually dig yourself out of that hole just in time to stay out of major trouble. You usually fall for extremes when choosing a love mate - he/she may be a show-off or a teacher's pet. Whatever the type, it helps if he/she is good-looking, too, but that's not a major consideration for you.

Five

Your love attitude is adventurous, charismatic and spontaneous. You're creative and adaptable, and you can come up with the most exciting and sometimes daring things to do. Your quick intelligence and way with words help get you out of the problems that come with being flirtatious and playing hard to get. You need to pay close attention to your personal values because you love to try new and different things and easily go along with the crowd and the consequences can put extra strain on your relationship with a boy/girl. You like guys/gals who have great bodies and good looks, along with exceptional brain and high grades. It helps if they are highly athletic or involved in as many activities as you, otherwise you might get bored! Variety is the key to your love attitude number.

Six

You are warm, loving, devoted and affectionate. Your outgoing, thoughtful nature attracts many girlfriends/boyfriends to you, and usually some of the nicest guys/gals too. Because of your need to care, you can end up in a relationship that requires too much care-taking to make it balanced. Since home and family play important roles in your life, you are unlikely to be attracted to guys/gals who your parents wouldn't like. Sometimes you have a slight jealous streak... but it doesn't last long. Some people with this love attitude number are prone to making harsh judgments of others, especially when others don't share your set of values. You are especially attracted to the good looking, boy/girl-next-door type who is smart as well as a gentle man/woman.

Seven

Your love nature is thoughtful, poetic, mystical and mysterious. A few people with love attitude number seven are class clowns, and they usually attract guys/gals who like to be given a hard time. But most of you are the quiet, reserved types who dislike calling attention to yourself. Your type generally attracts guys who feel the same way you do. Your refined, independent and secretive nature is very alluring to certain guys/gals. At times you can also be somewhat fault-finding and a little demanding in your love relationship and with friends. You are mostly attracted to guys/gals who aren't like all the rest; a loner easily attracts you. And, if he/she reads a lot and enjoys learning, he/she is especially perfect for you.

Eight

Your love attitude is confident, powerful and exciting. This number usually makes for a very conscientious student, someone who puts schoolwork ahead of a social life. However, you also enjoy being a leader among your classmates and will seek offices or other positions that enable you to use your leadership skills. Because of this, you can be somewhat intimidating to certain guys/gals. You can also be a little too intense, bossy and jealous for your own good. Your love match is definitely someone who is smart, handsome and popular. You like quality over quantity and will usually wait until the guy/gal with the best attributes comes along.

Nine

You have a sophisticated attitude that is also generous and considerate. You’re responsible, charitable nature may find you attracting guys/gals who want someone to confide in or who makes them feel secure. At a very young age, you developed the type of personality that makes others feel safe and protected. You will carry these qualities into your adult years and, down the road, you'll be a good mom/dad because of them. On the negative side, you can be argumentative and overly emotional, and you usually possess a temper that can make everyone run for cover. You like the kind of guy/gal who is responsible and impeccably dressed and has gorgeous eyes and a great body. Charm, wit and (of course) brilliance could make him the perfect guy/gal for you.

Words Women Use

2005-08-30T19:46:00.000-07:00

Fine
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

Five Minutes
If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour.
Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

Nothing
This is the calm before the storm. This means "something" and you
should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with "nothing" usually end in
"fine".

Go Ahead
This is a dare, not permission, DON'T DO IT!

Loud Sigh
Although not actually a word, the loud sigh is often misunderstood by
men.
A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is
wasting her! time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing".

That's Okay
This is one of the most dangerous statements that woman can make to a
man.
"That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before
deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

Thanks
This is the least used of all words in the female vocabulary. If a
woman is thanking you. Do not question it, just say you're welcome and back out
of the room slowly.
BEHIND EVERY
SUCCESSFUL WOMAN
IS HERSELF

AWOMAN IS LIKE A TEA BAG...
YOU DON'T KNOW HOW STRONG
SHE IS UNTIL YOU PUT HER
IN HOT WATER

COFFEE, CHOCOLATE, MEN.
SOME THINGS ARE JUST BETTER RICH !!!

OF COURSE I DON'T LOOK BUSY...
I DID IT RIGHT
THE FIRST TIME

And last but not least:

IF YOU WANT BREAKFAST IN BED, SLEEP IN THE KITCHEN

‘Nerbiyos’ breakdown and other boob-tube booboos

2005-08-30T19:37:00.000-07:00

Host: Why do you recommend that we as much as possible use rain water to shampoo our hair?
Guest: Because it's the best way to soft your hair.
(Ah, soft ...)

* * *

Host: Tell us about your concert this weekend.

Guest: Oh, it's so fun—with so many sangkatutok na production number!

(Ay, sangkatutok!)

***

Host: What other tips do you have for young mothers about good child care?

Guest: One more thing: to keep baby cool, keep him always in loose fittings!

(Ano daw?)

***

Host: The President's Sona speech was mostly in English. Do you think that was intentional, that she was not addressing her speech to the masses?

Guest: No, I don't think she.

(—Bitin!)

***

Host: Why was (name of star) dropped from your production?

Guest: Because, frankly, she had a nerbiyos breakdown.

(Ay, nerbiyos breakdown!)

***

Host: Your travel book looks so good, so inviting to the tourist to visit our country!

Guest: Yes, thanks to the photos taken by some of the best and selected photographers in the land!

(Best and selected—what's that?)
***

Host: What will tomorrow's weather be like—more rains?

Weather girl: It's more of the same, I'm afraid. Wet weather will still be prevailent.

(Oo nga naman—if something prevails, it's prevailent!)

***

Host: You have been criticized for taking extreme security measures during the rally—

Guest: I don't think so, we just used some bobwire barriers, that's all.

(Bobwire barriers? Ano 'yon?)

***

Host: How are you feeling? I hear you're sick? What's wrong?

Guest: Panay po akong natatrangkaso—no, hindi trangkaso. —Lagi po akong linalagnat—no, hindi lagnat—

(Make up your mind!)

***

Host: What are your pet peeves?

Guest: Well, you can imagine, in my field of politics, so many! But over and above all of them, what I really hate are the genital liars!

(Sir, kulang ng con—that's congenital liars!)

***

Host: These days, we hear about so many different groups' plans to save our country. Do you think any of them will work?

Guest: They're all too abstract. For them to work, they have to consider the giving of flesh of their ideas!

(Uh, come again?)

***

Host: How do you react when (name of star) is often mentioned as your biggest rival?

Guest: When we hear that, we just laugh. Because we know we don't complete against each other.

(Ah, so...)

***

Host: Of the two teams in the finals, who will emerge victorious?

Guest: Of course, our team—it's already tried and tasted!

(Yum, yum!)

On Animal Planet
AT 10 P.M. on Aug. 28, "Hunt for the Rarest Whale" focuses on beaked whales that are exceedingly difficult to locate. One species, indopacetus pacificus, has never even been seen alive, and descriptions are based solely on skeletal remains.

Little is known about their remarkable lifestyles—but conservationist Nan Hauser hopes to change all that. She has studied beaked whales for years, and her video clips provide viewers with a special window into the daily life of these elusive creatures.

Corporate Lessons

2005-08-30T19:35:00.000-07:00

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finish ing up her shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel." After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies. "Great!" the husband says, "Did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?" Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

Corporate Lesson 2
A priest offered a lift to a Nun. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak." Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory." Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

Corporate Lesson 3
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manag er are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish." "Me first! Me first!" says the admin. clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Poof! She's gone. "Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life." Poof! He's gone. "OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch." Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.

Corporate Lesson 4
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A rabbit asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?" The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it. Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very high up.

Corporate Lesson 5
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, but I haven't got the energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree. Moral of the story: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there

G: Perhaps it's my EGO

2005-08-30T03:51:00.000-07:00

I just dont understand the greatness of his ego, or perhaps my ego.

I am hurting now... I can't sleep... I can't cry... I just dont know how to feel and react.
I have lots of new pimple, overnight. If these are not enough signs, I dont know what else will be coming tommorow when I wake up or when another day will start.

Why can't he extert a true effort to express his apology. Should I make the move to just forget about it. There goes my ego saying, "You can;t just forgave him like that!", "It's not fair! He always does that to you!"

This past few days when were not talking with each other. I always think about him. Did he ate already? When will he come home? Will he not bother to look at me again? Will he surprise me and bring home a food so that I'll have a better mood? Will he exert something today so that we'll be in good terms? Thousand of questions that are left unanswered.

How can I get the message accross when all barriers seem unfit. I don't want to look into his eyes, because I know that from the moment I see those eyes I will melt and feel helpless. It has been several days now without any words being exchange, less a sentence spoken.

I hope that when I finish writing everything inside my head, I'll fall asleep. Hopefully. And hopefully, we'll make amends soon. I love him so much. It tortures me as much as I would like to think that it does to him too.

Lesson in Spanish

2005-08-24T20:08:00.000-07:00

A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine. ''House'' for instance, is feminine: ''la casa.'' ''Pencil,'' however, is masculine: el lápiz.''

A student asked, ''What gender is 'computer'?'' Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether ''computer'' should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.

The men's group decided that ''computer'' should definitely be of the feminine gender (''la computadora''), because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval.
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending
half your paycheck on accessories for it.

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine ('el computador''), because:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on.
2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves.
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem.
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

The women won.

Ang Sampung Prutas

2005-08-24T20:05:00.000-07:00

may 3 hunters na nahuli ng mga
cannibals sa gubat. dinala sila sa
harap ng tribal chief para siya ang
pupugot ng ulo. nagmakaawa yung mga
hunters. naawa naman yung chief.

Chief: sige hindi namin kayo
papatayin, sa isang kondisyon.
kailangan isa-isa kayong mangolekta
ng 10 pirasong prutas. dalhin nyo
iyon dito at saka ko sasabihin ang
sunod nyong gagawin.

naghiwa-hiwalay ang tatlong
magkakaibigan. unang dumating si
Pedro, dala-dala'y 10 oranges.

Chief: ngayon, ipasok mo ang lahat
ng mga prutas na iyan sa iyong
puwet. kailangan ay hindi magbabago
ang mukha mo. konting ngiwi o ngiti
lang ay pupugutan ka agad namin ng
ulo.

unang orange pa lang ang pinapasok
ay napa-sigaw agad si Pedro. agad
siyang pinugutan ng ulo. sunod na
dumating ay si Juan, dala-dala'y 10
lansones. tuwang-tuwa siya ng
in-explain sa kanya nung Chief kung
ano ang kailangan nyang gawin.

Juan: sus! sisiw lang pala.
kayang-kaya! buti na lang maliit na
prutas ang kino-lekta ko.

naipasok ni Juan ang mga lansones sa
kanyang puwit ng walang problema.
ngunit nung asa pang-10 prutas na
siya, bigla siyang napatawa.
pugot-ulo agad si Chief.

pagkamatay ay napunta agad si Juan
sa langit kung saan nakita niya si
Pedro. nagkausap ang dalawa.

Pedro: sayang Juan! pinapanood kita
dito sa langit habang ginagawa mo
yung utos. isang lansones na lang
hindi mo pa tiniis! buhay ka pa sana
ngayon. ano bang nangyari sayo?

Juan: pare, ang dali-dali ngang
ipasok nung mga lansones. kaso, nung
matatapos na ako bigla kong nakita
si pareng Jose -- may dala-dalang 10
pakwan!

Susan Roces Shadow Cabinet

2005-08-23T03:26:00.000-07:00

Are you prepared for SUSAN ROCES' SHADOW CABINET to take over?

ECONOMIC TEAM - Susan's thrust will be to achieve an
ECONOMIC MIRACLE that the country missed in the 80's
and 90's. Nobody is better equipped in making this
MIRACLE happen than Nora Aunor (Himala). As NEDA
Secretary, Sec. Aunor will not draw water from
brooks of Kupang (Place of Himala), but would make
miracles happen by encouraging people to believe in
themselves. According to the future NEDA chief.
"Tayo ang gumagawa ng Himala" She will be assisted
by Underscretary Madame Auring to guide the
government in taking the miraculous path.

Sec. Aunor will be supported by Sec. Pepe Pimentel
! (Finance) and Sec. Roderick Paulate (Budget and
Management). As Finance chief, Sec. Pimentel is well
aware of where the "Kwarta" is. And no matter how
small revenue collection will be, the public purse
will be efficiently handled and kept by Budget
Secretary Paulate in his "Bayong" with
Undersecretary Amy Perez.

Finally, the Team is completed by Trade and Industry
by the tandem of Sec. Mura and Undersecretary Mahal
to make sure that the basic commodities are priced
right, neither expensive (Mahal) nor cheap (Mura).

SERVICES TEAM - True to his populist color, Susan
will give more to those who have less in life. Being
allied with the GMA administration, MMDA Chair
Bayani Fernando wi! ll be replaced by another Bayani,
New MMDA Chair Bayani Agbayani. As such he will
scrap the Odd-Even scheme and implement a simpler
"Ocho-Ocho" traffic program, i.e., no cars in Edsa
from 8am
to 8pm.

Agriculture Department will be headed by Sec. Vilma
Santos to ensure that food supply will be bountiful
in all seasons in all regions.

Housing, being the cornerstone of the Susan Roces
Administration, will be given to an equally regal
and competent person, HLURB Secretary Dolphy. As
such, he will ensure that the masses get their
deserved homes either along the riles (railroads) or
airports. The middle class on the other hand will be
helped by Undersecretary Nova Villa.

The ! National Youth Commission will be headed by
German Moreno so that he can help develop the
talents of the millions of Filipino Youth. He will
be assisted by Commissioners-At-Large Jojo Veloso
and Alfie Lorenzo.

Social Welfare portfolio will be given to no less
than Sec. Willie Revillame. He will leave his show
to prepare for government service. To fund the
welfare programs, the young Lucky Manzano will be
appointed to the PCSO and PAGCOR.

Finally, the Department of Health will be headed by
Dra. Vicki Belo. The projects in line are as follows:
Oplan Alis Skin Disease, Tangal Taba, and Libreng
Lipo sa Masa.

RESOURCES TEAM - Susan Roce's policy is the full
development of our res! ources for the benefit of the
people.

Department of Energy will be headed by Sec. Gary
Valenciano. No more PPA, just pure energy.

The Environment portfolio will be given to Sec.
Chin-Chin Gutierrez and supported by Bureau of
Forestry Director Rico J. Puno, Mines and
Geosciences Directress Gretchen Barretto, and
Undersecretary Jimmy Bondoc.

DEFENSE AND LAW AND ORDER TEAM - Considering the
lack of respect the citizens have for the law of the
law, Susan will implement the policy of law without
fear or favor.

The Defense Department will be given to Sec. Annabel
Rama who is feared by the devil hemself. If she can
handle Ernie Maceda, why not the generals of the
AFP. If she can defend Ruffa's integrity despite all
her shenanigans, what more the integrity of the
national territory.

The Department of Interior will be headed by another
fighter, Sec. Mystica who is well aware of the
workings of the police after figuring in weekly
brawls ever since she entered showbiz. She will be
assited by PNP Chief Paquito Diaz, an expert on mobs
and thugs.

FOREIGN AFFAIRS TEAM - Susan will continue the
current government's constructive engagement. Among
the members of the nation's new foreign service are
the following Ambassadors:

Africa Union - Susan Africa
Austria - Amy Austria
Brunei Darusalam - Cristina Gonzalez
Colombia - Ace Vergel
Germany - Baron Geisler
Israel - Dick Israel
Jordan - Jordan Herrera
Spain - Gerald Madrid
Romania - David Bunevacz
Russian Federation - Nanette Medved
Turkey - Ruffa Gutierrez-Bektas
United Kingdom - Princess Punzalan
United States - Angelica Jones

The Department of Foreign Affairs will be headed by
Sec. Melanie Marquez (Miss International) who is
very experienced in "international" relationships.

OFFICE OF THE PRESIDENT - Lastly, to manage all the
department secretaries, a function of the Executive
Secretary, no less than Exec. Sec. Lily Monteverde
will "manage" all of them to make sure that they
work in line with government policies. If Mother
Lily can manage the whole Regal Family (plus Regal
Babies), what more the nation's Official Family. She
will be assisted by Presidential Management Staff
Sec. Lolit Solis, another "talent" manager. To
complete the roster of palace officials, the
residential Spokesperson's job will be given not to
Boy Abunda nor Cristy Fermin as other have
speculated, but to the reliable Sec. Rey Pumaloy
(Aminin!) to ensure that the government will not
hide anything from the public.

Kay SUSAN tayo !!!

Walang kwenta ang Pilipinas

2005-08-23T03:21:00.000-07:00

By: jawbreaker. (isang ordinaryong office worker na ayaw na magbayad ng
tax...ever!)

Hindi ko na mapigilan ang sarili ko. Sukang-suka na ko sa mga nangyayari sa
bansang 'to!

Walang katapusang corruption, walang kamatayang pangbabatikos, pagbabatuhan
ng tae at pagpapa-taasan ng ihi ng mga pulitiko sa bawat isa, walang tigil
na imbestigasyon ng kung ano-anong isyu pero wala namang matinong
resolusyon, walang puknat na pag-aagawan ng kapangyarihan sa pagitan ng mga
partido, patuloy na pagdami ng tamad at tangang Pilipino, patuloy na
pakikipaglaban ng ideolohiyang wala namang silbi.

Ang gobyerno ng Pilipinas, talo pa ang septic tank na hinihigop ng Malabanan
- saksakan ng dumi at napakabaho. Kaya hindi nakakapagtaka na ang Pilipinas
ang isa sa pinakamahirap at corrupt na bansa sa mundo.
Kasi lahat sila bulok, lahat sila walang kwenta. Lahat sila sugapa sa
kapangyarihan at sa pera.

ANAK NG TETENG! !$#%Q!&!* @!!!!!

KAHIT KRISTIYANO AKO, HINDI KO MAPIGILANG MAGMURA AT HILINGIN SA DIYOS
(MINSAN NGA PATI SA DEMONYO) NA MAMATAY NA SILANG LAHAT AT I-BBQ SILA NG
HABANG-BUHAY SA IMPIERNO.

SINONG "SILA"? EH DI MGA CORRUPT NA GOVERNMENT OFFICIALS AND WORKERS, MGA
TAMBAY NA PILIPINO NA ANG LALAKI NG KATAWAN PERO HINDI NAMAN NAGTRATRABAHO
AT HINDI NAGBABAYAD NG TAX, MGA MAYAYAMAN AT ARISTANG TAX EVADERS, PATI MGA
AKTIBISTA, NPA AT IBA PANG IDEOLOGICAL GROUPS NA HINDI NAGBABAYAD NG TAX
PERO PANG-GULO!!! MAMATAY NA KAYO!!!

Lagi na lang sinasabi ng mga pulitiko: Ipaglaban ang masa! Tulungan ang
masa! Mahalin ang masa!

PUNYETA! MASA LANG BA ANG TAO SA PILIPINAS?

SINO BA TALAGA ANG BUMUBUHAY SA PUNYETANG BANSANG TO?

SAAN BA GALING ANG PANGPAGAWA NG MGA TULAY AT KALYE?
SAAN BA GALING ANG PORK BARREL? SAAN BA GALING ANG PERANG KINUKURAKOT NYO?

KAMI NA MGA MANGGAGAWA AT MIDDLE CLASS NA BAGO PA MAKUHA ANG SWELDO BAWAS NA
- KAMI ANG BUMUBUHAY SA WALANG KWENTANG BANSA NA 'TO!!!!!!!!!

BAKIT YANG BANG MGA MASANG YAN NA LAGI NA LANG SENTRO NG PLATAPORMA NG MGA
PULITIKO EH NAGBABAYAD BA NG TAX???!!!!

F**K YOU! KAHIT ISA SA MGA NAG-RA-RALLYING MGA SQUATTER NA YAN, KAHIT SINGKO
HINDI NAG-RE-REMIT YAN SA BIR!

PERO PINAPAKINGGAN BA KAMI NG GOBYERNO?

LAGI NA LANG OPINYON NG MASA ANG INIINTINDI NG GOBYERNO.

KUNG SINO ANG NAG-RA-RALLY, SA EDSA, SILA ANG NASUSUNOD.

KUNG SINO ANG MAS MALAKAS SUMIGAW PERO WALA NAMANG ECONOMIC CONTRIBUTION,
SILA LAGI ANG FOCUS PAG MAY PROBLEMA.

SILA LAGI ANG BIDA.

KAMING MGA ORDINARYONG OFFICE WORKERS, OFW'S, LABORERS AT IBA PANG
NAG-TRA-TRABAHO AT NAGBABAYAD NG TAX - KAMI ANG NAGPAPAKAHIRAP PARA BUHAYIN
ANG PILIPINAS.
KAMI ANG MGA TUNAY NA BAYANI NG BANSA!!!

Tuwing nakikita ko ang payslip ko, nag-iinit ang ulo ko at gusto kong maiyak
sa inis. Napakalaki ng tax na binabawas sa akin pero ginagamit lang sa
walang kwentang bagay ang perang pinaghirapan ko.

Lahat ng pagtitipid ginagawa ko para suportahan ang sarili ko, pamilya ko at
ang punyetang bansang to. Ni hindi ako makabili ng chicken and spaghetti
meal sa Jollibee kahit gutom na gutom na ko. Nag-tya-tyaga ako sa waffle na
tig-P10, o kaya pag may konting pera, junior bola-bola siopao sa Mini-Stop
sa halangang P20.

Eh kung yung pera ko na pinapangbabayad sa tax sa kin na lang napunta, eh di
sana nakakapanood pa ko ng sine at least 2 beses sa isang buwan. Nakabili na
sana ako ng bagong rubber shoes. Nakapagpagawa na sana ako ng sarili kong
bahay.

Yung tax na binabayad ko, karamihan nun derecho sa bulsa ng mga corrupt na
mga government officials at workers. Habang hirap na hirap akong i-budget
ang pera ko, sila naman nagpapakasarap sa mga mansyon. SUV's at luxury cars
pa ang dina-drive nila, samantalang ako sa pedicab lang sumasakay!

P****** INA! PERA KO YANG PINAPAGPAPASASAAN NYO!!!!!

Yung tax na binabayad ko, pinapangsuporta sa mga mahihirap. Saan ba galing
ang pera pangpagawa ng housing at pagtulong sa mga mahihirap, di ba sa mga
manggagawa na nagbabayad ng buwis! Pero karamihan ng mahihirap, kung umasta
kala mo inaapi sila ng sobra.

SA TOTOO LANG NO, KAYA ANG MGA MAHIHIRAP LALONG NAGHIHIRAP KASI MGA TAMAD!

Ang daming mga tambay sa kalye na walang trabaho pero ang laki ng katawan.
Eh kung sila ba nagkargador sa pier eh di sana may pera sila.

TAPOS WALA NA NGANG PERA, ANAK PA NG ANAK!

PUNYETA! LALO NYO LANG PINAPADAMI ANG TAMAD AT TANGA SA MUNDO!!!!!

Naaawa ako sa mga batang pakalat-kalat sa kalye at namamalimos. Imbes na
nag-aaral, dumadagdag lang sila sa bilang ng mga future criminals sa Pinas.
Hindi ako magtataka na yung batang nakita kong namamalimos sa Cubao,
pagkatapos ng ilang taon cellphone snatcher na.

YUNG MGA MAGULANG NAMAN DYAN, COMMON SENSE LANG! HIRAP NA HIRAP NA NGA KAYO
SA BUHAY, MANGDADAMAY PA KAYO NG IBA?! PAPARAMIHAN NYO PA LAHI NYO!

Palibhasa walang mga trabaho at walang
pinagkaka-abalahan, kaya nagkakalabitan at nagsusundutan na lang maghapon,
magdamag. Sa totoo lang, nakakabilib. Kasi kahit sa ilalim ng tulay o sa
kariton lang, nakakabuo pa rin ng bata! Ibig sabihin, maabilidad ang mga
Pinoy. Kung gugustuhin, gagawan ng paraan. Kahit sa makipot, mabaho at
maduming lugar - SOLVE!

Isa pang mga grupo ng tao na nakakainis, yung mga aktibista, NPA at kung
ano-ano pang ideological political groups. Sabi nila, mahal na mahal nila
ang Pilipinas kaya pinagpalalaban nila ang kanilang mga adhikain.

PUNYETA! EH HINDI RIN KAYO NAGBABAYAD NG TAX! ANG KAKAPAL RIN NG MGA MUKHA
NYO!

MGA IPOKRITO! MAHAL DAW ANG PILIPINAS AYAW NAMAN MAGBAYAD NG BUWIS!

BAKIT MAY BIR COLLECTOR BA SA GITNA NG MENDIOLA AT EDSA?! MAY TAX COLLECTION
BA SA BUNDOK?!

WALA DIN NAMAN KAYONG MGA TRABAHO! KUNG MAY TRABAHO TALAGA KAYO, HINDI KAYO
MAG-RA-RALLY DAHIL SAYANG ANG SWELDO NYO PAG ABSENT KAYO!

PAANO NYO MAIPAPAKITA ANG PAGMAMAHAL NYO SA PILIPINAS KUNG WALA NA KAYONG
GAWANG MATINO KUNDI MAG-RALLY AT MAMUNDOK??!!!

ISA PA YANG MGA MAYAYAMAN AT MGA ARTISTA, NA NANGDADAYA AT HINDI NAGBABAYAD
NG BUWIS. ANG KAKAPAL NG MUKHA NYO! ANG DAMI NYO NA NGANG PERA NANGDADAYA PA
KAYO SA TAX!!!! HINDI NYO NAMAN MADADALA SA IMPIERNO YANG MGA KAYAMAN NYO.
MASUSUNOG LANG DUN YAN.

KAYA LALONG BUMABAGSAK ANG NEGOSYO DITO SA PILIPINAS, KASI MGA NEGOSYANTE
MANDARAYA. PATI SHOWBIZ INDUSTRY, BAGSAK NA DIN. KARMA ANG TAWAG DYAN. MGA
BALASUBAS KASI.

Sana magkaron ng POLITICAL AND NATIONAL CLEANSING.

Alisin (mas maganda kung patayin na lang) ang lahat ng pulitiko at political
families sa puwesto. Tibagin ang lahat ng mapanirang organizations at grupo.
Itapon sa malayong isla o kaya i-pwersa ng hard labor ang mga sobrang tamad
na mga Pilipino. Ihiwalay ang mga bata sa kanilang mga tamad at tangang
magulang upang makapag-aral sila at maturuan na maging mabuting tao at
mamamayan. Magkaron ng bagong lider na walang political ties at utang na
loob sa kahit sino. At higit sa lahat, dapat tax payers lang ang pwedeng
bumoto!

Kung kinakailangang magka-giyera para magtino ang mga Pilipino, ayos lang.
Masyado na kasing matigas ang ulo ng mga tao dito. Gusto ng kalayaan, pero
hindi naman handang panagutan ang responsibilidad ng pagiging malaya. Meron
daw pinaglalaban na prinsipyo at adhikain pero takot namang mamatay para
dito.

(Sa mga nakaka-alam sa anime na Gundam Wing, yan ang inspirasyon ko sa new
Pinas hehe. I love you Zechs! I love you Treize!)

Hangga't hindi nagkakaron ng radical change, patuloy na walang kwenta ang
Pilipinas at patuloy na magiging tanga ang majority ng mga Pilipino.

Sa dami ng nag-mi-migrate na Pilipino sa ibang bansa, dadating ang panahon
na minority na lang ng population sa Pilipinas ang may utak. Yung mga
magagaling na Pilipino, malamang maubos na. Sobra na kasi silang
na-fru-frustrate at na-de-depress sa mga nakikita nila.

Ilang taon pa at aalis na rin ako sa Pilipinas. Wala kong balak na magkaron
ng pamilya sa isang bansa na hindi pinapahalagahan ang kontribusyon ng mga
taong tunay na bumubuhay dito. Kawawa naman ang magiging anak ko kung dito
sya mabubuhay.

Sa totoo lang, broken hearted ako. Minahal ko din ang bansang ito. Pilit
kong pinagtatanggol kahit bulok.
Nakarating na ko ng ibang bansa, pero pinili kong bumalik. Pero ngayon,
ayoko na. Suko na ko. Sayang lang ako sa bansang to. Simple lang naman ang
hiling ko. Gusto ko lang mabuhay ng tahimik at maayos. Gusto ko na kahit
paano eh maipagmalaki ang Pilipinas. Pero wala eh. Doomed to be jologs ang
bansang to.

Alam ko marami pa ang umaasa at naniniwala sa pagbabago. Good luck and God
bless! Sana tama kayo at mali ako.

The Call To Sacrifice

2005-08-23T03:16:00.000-07:00

One call we often hear today, when people ask President Arroyo to resign,

>> is the call to make the ultimate sacrifice for the good of the country.
>>
>> Now that is a call that we can endorse. No, not the call for the
>> President to resign, but the call for everyone, not just her, to make
>> sacrifices for the good of the nation.
>>
>> . Loren Legarda: you are challenging the legitimacy of Vice
>> President de Castro. If and when the President does resign, de Castro
>> will ascend to the Presidency. That is the constitutional process.
>> Your continuing proclamation of his illegitimacy can become
>> destabilizing. Can you make the sacrifice of withdrawing your suit
>> and just allowing him to sit as President?
>> . The 10 Cabinet members who resigned: many of you are known
>> for integrity. Let your record speak for itself. Can you make the
>> sacrifice of just shutting up now and not defending yourselves, for
>> this contributes to further instability?
>> . Frank Drilon: your salivating for the Vice Presidency leaves
>> a bad taste in the mouth. You manifested extreme hypocrisy and
>> political opportunism in extolling GMA to high heavens and then
>> stabbing her in the back, within the space of one week. Can you make
>> the sacrifice of stopping all moves, including those of your Liberal
>> Party cohorts, of political maneuvering?
>> . All traditional politicians: kayo ang tunay na salot ng
>> bayan. Can you make the sacrifice of resigning your posts and fading
>> into complete oblivion?
>> . Activist bishops and clergy of the Catholic Church: we
>> appreciate your concern for the good of our people, but we do not
>> appreciate your being at the forefront of political activism. Can you
>> make the sacrifice of sticking to your pastoral duties of ministering
>> to the spiritual needs of the flock and leave the political posturing
>> to the lay people?
>> . Brother Eddie Villanueva: God has blessed you by giving you
>> a big flock to take care of. That is your calling. While many
>> disagree with your entry into politics, we leave that between you and
>> God. But what is difficult to take is your insistence, and that of
>> your apologists, that you won the Presidential elections. For
>> goodness sake, you were number five! If you were cheated, it was not
>> only GMA who did so but Fernando Poe and the others as well. Can you
>> make the sacrifice of leaving partisan politics entirely and focusing
>> on the Father's business?
>> . Imee Marcos, Jinggoy Estrada, JV Ejercito: is it not enough
>> that your parents plundered the nation and you were part of that, and
>> now you have not only kept all your loot but are also back in power?
>> Can you make the sacrifice of removing yourselves from the limelight?
>> In reality, you are a major reason why the middle forces are not
>> responding positively to the call to a change in government.
>> . Big business: many of you really just care about having a
>> positive environment where your businesses will thrive. Can you make
>> the sacrifice of some of your profits to give more to the poor?
>> . The poor: we understand that, sapagkat kayo ay kapit sa
>> patalim, you allow yourselves to be exploited and brought to rallies
>> of unscrupulous politicians. Can you make the sacrifice of a few
>> pesos, of bearing with your hunger, and not allow yourselves to be
>> exploited, so that you maintain your dignity and you help sow the
>> seed for true liberation and well-being, in God's time?
>>
>> The call to sacrifice is a wonderful call. God himself showed us the way.

>> Jesus sacrificed his life on the cross in order to win our salvation.
>> Such a call is pure, noble, worthy of emulation. Let us not use it for
>> selfish motives. Let us not prostitute its purity by polluting it with
>> the filth in our hearts.>
>>
>>
>> "For to me life is Christ, and death is gain." (Phil 1:21)

Applicant: Secretary

2005-08-23T03:10:00.000-07:00

Deer Sir,
I waunt to apply for the secritary job what I saw in the paper. I can Type real quik wit one finggar and do sum a counting.

I think I am good on the phone and no I am a pepole person, Pepole really seam to respond to me well.

IÂ´m lookin for a Jobb as a secritary but it musent be to complicaited.

I no my spelling is not to good but find that I Offen can get a job thru my persinalety. My salerery is open so we can discus wat you want to pay me and wat you think that I am werth,

I can start imeditely. Thank you in advanse fore yore anser. .

hopifuly Yore best aplicant so farr.

Sinseerly,

Peggy May Starlings

PS : Because my resimay is a bit short - below is a pickture of me taken at my last jobb.

Employer's response:......

Dear Peggy May,

It's OK honey, we've got spell check.

Only in the Philippines

2005-08-23T00:33:00.000-07:00

Subject: Philippine habits, traits and customs... in the eyes of a British Guy

>>The following is from a British journalist stationed in the
>>Philippines, circa 1999-- a bit dated but still "hilariously true"!
>>
>> Matter of Taste
>>by Matthew Sutherland
>>
>> I have now been in this country for over six years, and consider
>>myself in most respects well assimilated. However, there is one key
>>step on the road to full asimilation, which I have yet to take, and
>>that's to eat BALUT. The day any of you sees me eating balut, please
>>call immigration and ask them to issue me a Filipino passport.
>>Because at that point there will be no turning back. BALUT, for those
>>still blissfully ignorant non-Pinoys out there, is a fertilized duck
>>egg. It is commonly sold with salt in a piece of newspaper, much like
>>English fish and chips, by street vendors usually after dark,
>>presumably so you can't see how gross it is.
>>It's meant to be an aphrodisiac, although I can't imagine anything
>>more likely to dispel sexual desire than crunching on a partially
>>formed baby duck swimming in noxious fluid. The embryo in the egg
>>comes in varying stages of development, but basically it is not
>>considered macho to eat one without fully discernable feathers, beak,
>>and claws. Some say these crunchy bits are the best. Others prefer
>>just to drink the so-called 'soup', the vile,pungent liquid that
>>surrounds the aforementioned feathery fetus...excuse me; I have to go
>>and throw up now. I'll be back in a minute.
>>
>> Food dominates the life of the Filipino. People here just love to
>>eat.They eat at least eight times a day. These eight official meals
>>are called,in order: breakfast, snacks, lunch, merienda, pica-pica,
>>pulutan, dinner, and
>>no-one-saw-me-take-that-cookie-from-the-fridge-so-it-doesn't-
>>count. The short gaps in between these mealtimes are spent eating Sky
>>Flakes from the open packet that sits on every desktop. You're never
>>far from food in the Philippines. If you doubt this, next time you're
>>driving home from work, try this g ame. See how long you can drive
>>without seeing food and I don't mean a distant restaurant, or a
>>picture of food. I mean a man on the sidewalk frying fish balls, or a
>>man walking through the traffic selling nuts or candy. I bet it's less

>>than one minute.
>>
>> Here are some other things I've noticed about food in the
>>Philippines. Firstly, a meal is not a meal without rice - even
>>breakfast. In the UK, I could go a whole year without eating rice.
>>Second, it's impossible to drink
>>without eating. A bottle of San Miguel just isn't the same without
>>gambas or beef tapa. Third, no one ventures more than two paces from
>>their house without baon and a container of something cold to drink.
>>You might as well
>>ask a Filipino to leave home without his pants on. And lastly, where
>>I come from, you eat with a knife and fork. Here, you eat with a spoon

>>and fork.You try eating rice swimming in fish sauce with a knife.
>>
>> One really nice thing about Filipino food culture is that people
>>always ask you to SHARE their food. In my office, if you catch anyone
>>attacking their baon, they will always go, "Sir! KAIN TAYO!"
>>("Let's eat!"). This
>>confused me, until I realized that they didn't actually expect me to
>>sit down and start munching on their boneless bangus. In fact, the
>>polite response is something like, "No thanks, I just ate."
>>
>> But the principle is sound - if you have food on your plate, you
>>are expected to share it, however hungry you are, with those who may
>>be even hungrier. I think that's great. In fact, this is frequently
>>even t aken one step further. Many Filipinos use "Have you eaten yet?"

>>("KUMAIN KA
>>NA?") as a general greeting, irrespective of time of day or location.
>>
>> Some foreigners think Filipino food is fairly dull compared to
>>other Asian cuisines. Actually lots of it is very good: Spicy dishes
>>like Bicol Express (strange, a dish named after a train); anything
>>cooked with coconut milk; anything KINILAW; and anything ADOBO. And
>>it's hard to beat the sheer wanton, cholesterolic frenzy of a good
>>old-fashioned LECHON de leche feast. Dig a pit, light a fire, add 50
>>pounds of animal fat on a stick, and cook until crisp. Mmm, mmm... you

>>can actually feel your arteries constricting with each successive
>>mouthful.
>>
>> I also share one key Pinoy trait ---a sweet tooth. I am thus the
>>only foreigner I know who does not complain about sweet bread, sweet
>>burgers,sweet spaghetti, sweet banana ketchup, and so on. I am a man
>>who likes to put jam on his pizza. Try it!
>>
>> It's the weird food you want to avoid. In addition to duck fetus in

>>the half-shell, items to avoid in the Philippines include pig's blood
>>soup (DINUGUAN); bull's testicle soup, the strangely- named "SOUP
>>NUMBER FIVE" (I dread to think what numbers one through four are); and

>>the ubiquitous, stinky shrimp paste, BAGOONG,and it's equally stinky
>>sister, PATIS. Filipinos are so addicted to these latter items that
>>they will even risk arrest or deportation trying to smuggle them into
>>countries like Australia and the USA, which wisely ban the importation

>>of items you can smell from more than 100 paces.
>>
>> Then there's the small matter of the blue ice cream. I have never
>>been able to get my brain around eating blue food; the ubiquitous UBE
>>leaves me cold.
>>
>> And lastly on the subject of weird food, beware: that KALDERETANG
>>KAMBING (goat) could well be KALDERETANG ASO (dog)...
>>
>> The Filipino, of course, has a well-developed sense of food.
>>Here's a typical Pinoy food joke: "I'm on a seafood diet. "What's a
>>seafood diet?"
>>"When I see food, I eat it!"
>>
>> Filipinos also eat strange bits of animals --- the feet, the head,
>>the guts, etc., usually barbecued on a stick. These have been given
>>witty names,like "ADIDAS" (chicken's feet); "KURBATA" (either just
>>chicken's neck, or "neck and thigh" as in "neck-tie"); "WALKMAN" (pigs

>>ears); "PAL"
>>(chicken
>>wings); "HELMET" (chicken head); "IUD" (chicken intestines), and
>>BETAMAX"
>>(video-cassette-like blocks of animal blood). Yum, yum. Bon appetit.
>>
>>Here's another article from the same person:
>> WHEN I arrived in the Philippines from the UK six years ago, the
>>first cultural differences to strike me was names. The subject has
>>provided a continuing source of amazement and amusement ever since.
>>
>> The first unusual thing, from an English perspective, is that
>>everyone here has a nickname. In the staid and boring United Kingdom,
>>we have nicknames in kindergarten, but when we move into adulthood we
>>tend, I am glad to say, to lose them.
>>
>> The second thing that struck me is that Philippine names for both
>>girls and boys tend to be what we in the UK would regard as
>>overbearingly cutesy for anyone over about five. Fifty-five-year- olds

>>colleague put it. Where I come from, a boy with a nickname like Boy
>>Blue or Honey Boy would be beaten to death at school by pre-adolescent

>>bullies, and never make it to adulthood. So, probably, would girls
>>with names like Babes, Lovely, Precious, Peachy or Apples. Yuk, ech
>>ech.
>>
>> Here, however, no one bats an eyelid. Then I noticed how many
>>people have what I have come to call "door-bell names". These are
>>nicknames that sound like -well,doorbells. There are millions of them.

>>Bing, Bong, Ding, and Dong are some of the more common. They can be,
>>and frequently are, used in even more door-bell-like combinations such

>>as Bing-Bong, Ding-Dong, Ting-Ting, and so on. Even our newly
>>appointed chief of police has a doorbell name Ping. None of these
>>doorbell names exist where I come from, and hence sound unusually
>>amusing to my untutored foreign ear.
>>
>> Someone once told me that one of the Bings, when asked why he was
>>called Bing, replied, "because my brother is called Bong". Faultless
>>logic. Dong,of course, is a particularly funny one for me, as where I

>>come from "dong"
>>is a slang word for well; perhaps "talong" is the best Tagalog
>>equivalent.
>>
>> Repeating names was another novelty to me, having never before
>>encountered people with names like Len-Len, Let-Let, Mai-Mai, or
>>Ning-Ning.The s ecretary I inherited on my arrival had an unusual
>>one: Leck-Leck. Such names are then frequently further refined by
>>using the "squared" symbol, as in Len2 or Mai2. This had me very
>>confused for a while.
>>
>> Then there is the trend for parents to stick to a theme when naming

>>their children. This can be as simple as making them all begin with
>>the same letter, as in Jun, Jimmy, Janice, and Joy.
>>
>> More imaginative parents shoot for more sophisticated forms of
>>assonance or rhyme, as in Biboy, Boboy, Buboy, Baboy (notice the names

>>get worse the more kids there are-best to be born early or you could
>>end up being a Baboy).
>>
>> Even better, parents can create whole families of, say, desserts
>>(Apple Pie, Cherry Pie, Honey Pie) or flowers (Rose, Daffodil, Tulip).

>>The main advantage of such combinations is that they look great
>>painted across your trunk if you're a cab driver. That's another thing

>>I'd never seen before coming to Manila -- taxis with the driver's
>>kids' names on the trunk.
>>
>>Another whole eye-opening field for the foreign visitor is the ph
>>enomenon of the "composite" name. This includes names like Jejomar
>>(for Jesus, Joseph and Mary), and the remarkable Luzviminda (for
>>Luzon, Visayas and Mindanao, believe it or not). That's a bit like me
>>being called something like "Engscowani" (for England, Scotland,
>>Wales and Northern Ireland). Between you and me, I'm glad I'm not.
>>
>> And how could I forget to mention the fabulous concept of the
>>randomly inserted letter 'h'. Quite what this device is supposed to
>>achieve, I have not yet figured out, but I think it is designed to
>>give a touch of class to an otherwise only averagely weird name. It
>>results in creations like Jhun,Lhenn, Ghemma, and Jhimmy. Or how about

>>Jhun-Jhun (Jhun2)?
>>
>> How boring to come from a country like the UK full of people with
>>names like John Smith. How wonderful to come from a country where
>>imagination and exoticism rule the world of names.
>>
>> Even the towns here have weird names; my favorite is the
>>unbelievably named town of Sexmoan (ironically close to Olongapo and
>>Angeles). Where else in the world could that really be true? Where
>>else in the world could the head of the Church really be called
>>Cardinal Sin? Where else but the Philippines!
>>
>>Note: Philippines has a senator named Joker, and it is his legal name.

The Outcome of your lives

2005-08-23T00:28:00.000-07:00

The outcome of your life
is completely dependent
upon those whom you call "friend."

Proverbs 13:20

"He who walks with wise men will be wise, But the companion of fools will
be destroyed." (NKJV)

There are essentially two kinds of people in our lives ? those who seek
comfort and those have a passion to change.

Individuals who make us comfortable don't spur us on. They don't cause us
to change. They don't urge us to become better. Those who are content with
mediocrity get stuck in their comfort zone and truly never break free.

Then there are those who are assigned to our lives to help us change. They
are usually the authorities God has placed over us. They exist in various
arenas of life, including our employers, parents, and pastors. They are
vital to our growth. Although we may feel pressured to change, to stretch
and grow, to become better, and to move on to the next level, we must stay
connected to these people.

This type of pressure to change is healthy and is needed in our lives to
help us become all God intended for us. If we turn our backs on our
authorities and become a companion of those who are disloyal and void of
respect, the Bible tells us we will suffer severe consequences. We must
acknowledge the significance and importance of relationships! Those who we
call "friend" largely influence the outcome of our lives.

Confession

Proverbs 13:20

"I walk with wise men and I am wise. I companion with those who cause me
to grow and mature."

---
Winning Keys by Robb Thompson

Strange Facts

2005-08-23T00:23:00.000-07:00

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.

(Hardly seems worth it.)

If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.

(Now that's more like it!)

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.

(O.M.G.!)

A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.

(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)

A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.)

(I'm still not over the pig.)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour

(Don't try this at home,maybe at work)

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.

("Honey, I'm home. What the....?!")

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.

(30 minutes..lucky pig! Can you imagine?)

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.

(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)

Some lions mate over 50 times a day.

(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.

(Hmmmmmm......)

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.

(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)

Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.

(okay, so that would be a good thing)

A cat's urine glows under a black light.

(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)

Starfish have no brains.

(I know some people like that too.)

Polar bears are left-handed.

(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.

(What about that pig??)

Hospital Window

2005-08-23T00:21:00.000-07:00

A great note for all, it will only take a few seconds to read this and change your thinking

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room's only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back. The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation.

Every afternoon when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.

The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.

The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.

As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene.

One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by.

Although the other man couldn't hear the band - he could see it. In his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.

Days and weeks passed.

One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.

As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.

Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside.

He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed.

It faced a blank wall. The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window.

The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall.

She said, "Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you."

Epilogue:

There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own
situations.

Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled.

If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money
can't buy.

"Today is a gift, that's why it is called the present."

The origin of this letter is unknown, but it brings good luck to everyone
who passes it on.

Do not keep this letter.

Just forward it to your friends to whom you wish good luck.

You will see that something good will happen to you

A Big Wheel

2005-08-23T00:18:00.000-07:00

In September 1960, I woke up one morning with six hungry babies and just 75 cents in my pocket. Their father was gone. The boys ranged from three months to seven years; their sister was two. Their Dad had never been much more than a presence they feared.

Whenever they heard his tires crunch on the gravel driveway they would scramble to hide under their beds. He did manage to leave $15 a week to buy groceries.

Now that he had decided to leave, there would be no more beatings,but no food either.

If there was a welfare system in effect in southern Indiana at that time, I certainly knew nothing about it. I scrubbed the kids until they looked brand new and then put on my best homemade dress. loaded them
into the rusty old 51 Chevy and drove off to find a job.

The seven of us went to every factory, store and restaurant in our small town. No luck. The kids stayed crammed into the car and tried to be quiet while I tried to convince whomever would listen that I was willing to learn or do anything.I had to have a job. Still no luck. The last place we went to, just a few miles out of town, was an old Root Beer Barrel drive-in that had been converted to a truckstop. It was called the Big Wheel.

An old lady named Granny owned the place and she peeked out of the window from time to time at all those kids. She needed someone on the graveyard shift, 11 at night until seven in the morning. She paid 65 cents an hour and I could start that night. I raced home and called the teenager down the street that baby-sat for people. I bargained with her to come and sleep on my sofa for a dollar a night. She could arrive with her pajamas on and the kids would already be asleep. This seemed like a good arrangement
to her, so we made a deal.

That night when the little ones and I knelt to say our prayers, we all thanked God for finding Mommy a job. And so I started at the Big Wheel. When I got home in the mornings I woke the baby-sitter up and
sent her home with one dollar of my tip money--fully half of what I averaged everynight. As the weeks went by, heating bills added a strain to my meager wage. The tires on the old Chevy had the consistency of penny balloons and began to leak.

I had to fill them with air on the way to work and again every morning before I could go home.

One bleak fall morning, I dragged myself to the car to go home and found four tires in the back seat. New tires! There was no note, no nothing, just those beautiful brand new tires. Had angels taken up residence in Indiana? I wondered. I made a deal with the local service station. In exchange for his
mounting the new tires, I would clean up his office. I remember it took me a lot longer to scrub his floor than it did for him to do the tires.

I was now working six nights instead of five and it still wasn't enough.Christmas was coming and I knew there would be no money for toys for the kids.

I found a can of red paint and started repairing and painting some old toys. Then hid them in the basement so there would be something for Santa to deliver on Christmas morning. Clothes were a worry too. I was sewing patches on top of patches on the boys pants and soon they would be too far gone to repair.

On Christmas Eve the usual customers were drinking coffee in the Big Wheel. These were the truckers, Les, Frank, and Jim, and a state trooper named Joe.

A few musicians were hanging around after a gig at the Legion and were dropping nickels in the pinball machine. The regulars all just sat around and talked through the wee hours of the morning and then left to
get home before the sun came up.

When it was time for me to go home at seven o'clock on Christmas morning I hurried to the car. I was hoping the kids wouldn't wake up before I managed to get home and get the presents from the basement and place them under the tree. (We had cut down a small cedar tree by the side of the road down by the dump.)

It was still dark and I couldn't see much, but there appeared to be some dark shadows in the car-or was that just a trick of the night? Something certainly looked different, but it was hard to tell what. When I
reached the car I peered warily into one of the side windows. Then my jaw dropped in amazement. My old battered Chevy was filled full to the top with boxes of all shapes and sizes. I quickly opened the driver's side door, crumbled inside and kneeled in the front facing the back seat.

Reaching back, I pulled off the lid of the top box. Inside was whole case of little blue jeans, sizes 2-10! I looked inside another box: It was full of shirts to go with the jeans. Then I peeked inside some of the
other boxes. There was candy and nuts and bananas and bags of groceries. There was an enormous ham for baking, and canned vegetables and potatoes. There was pudding and Jell-O and cookies, pie filling and flour. There was whole bag of laundry supplies and cleaning items. And there were five toy trucks and one beautiful little doll.

As I drove back through empty streets as the sun slowly rose on the most amazing Christmas Day of my life, I was sobbing with gratitude. And I will never forget the joy on the faces of my little ones that precious morning.

.Yes, there were angels in Indiana that long-ago December. And they all hung out at the Big Wheel truck stop....

THE POWER OF PRAYER I believe that God only gives three answers to prayer:

1. "Yes!"
2. "Not yet."
3. "I have something better in mind."

God still sits on the throne, the devil is a liar. You maybe going through a tough time right now but God is getting ready to bless you in a way that you cannot imagine.

My instructions were to pick four people that I wanted God to bless, and I picked you.

Please pass this to at least four people you want to be blessed and a copy back to me.

This prayer is powerful, and prayer is one of the best gifts we receive.
There is no cost but a lot of rewards. Let's continue to pray for one another. Here is the prayer:....

Father, I ask You to bless my friends, relatives and email buddies reading this right now. Show them a new revelation of Your love and power.
I know I picked more than four, so can you.

A Korean Student's Essay on the Philippines

2005-08-23T00:16:00.000-07:00

My Short Essay about the Philippines
Jaeyoun Kim
September 2003

Filipinos always complain about the corruption in the Philippines. Do you really think the corruption is the problem of the Philippines? I do not think so. I strongly believe that the problem is the lack of love for the Philippines.

Let me first talk about my country, Korea. It might help you understand my point. After the Korean War, South Korea was one of the poorest
countries in the world. Koreans had to start from scratch because entire country was destroyed completely after the Korean War, and we had no
natural resources.

Koreans used to talk about the Philippines, for Filipinos were very rich in Asia. We envy Filipinos. Koreans really wanted to be well off like Filipinos. Many Koreans died of famine. My father's brother also died because of famine.

Korean government was awfully corrupt and is still very corrupt beyond your imagination, but Korea was able to develop dramatically because
Koreans really did their best for the common good with their heart burning with patriotism. Koreans did not work just for themselves but also for their neighborhood and country. Education inspired young men with the spirit of patriotism.

40 years ago, President Park took over the government to reform Korea. He tried to borrow money from other countries, but it was not possible to get a loan and attract a foreign investment because the economy situation of South Korea was so bad. Korea had only three factories. So, President Park sent many mine workers and nurses to Germany so that they could send money to Korea to build a factory. They had to go through a horrible experience. In 1964, President Park visited Germany to borrow money. Hundred of Koreans in Germany came to the airport to welcome him and cried there as they saw the President Park. They asked to him, "President, when can we be well off?" That was the only question everyone asked to him. President Park cried with them and promised them that Korea would be well off if everyone works hard for Korea, and the President of Germany got the strong impression on them and lent money to Korea. So, President Park was able to build many factories in Korea.

He always asked Koreans to love their country from their heart. Many Korean scientists and engineers in the USA came back to Korea to help
developing country because they wanted their country to be well off.

Though they received very small salary, they did their best for Korea. They always hoped that their children would live in well off country.

My parents always brought me to the places where poor and physically handicapped people live. They wanted me to understand their life and help them. I also worked for Catholic Church when I was in the army. The only thing I learned from Catholic Church was that we have to love our neighborhood. And I have loved my neighborhood.

Have you cried for the Philippines? I have cried for my country several times. I also cried for the Philippines because of so many poor people.
I have been to the New Bilibid prison. What made me sad in the prison were the prisoners who do not have any love for their country. They go
to mass and work for Church. They pray everyday. However, they do not love the Philippines. I talked to two prisoners at the maximum security
compound, and both of them said that they would leave the Philippines right after they are released from the prison. They said that they would start a new life in other countries and never come back to the Philippines.

Many Koreans have a great love for Korea so that we were able to share our wealth with our neighborhood. The owners of factory and company were distributed their profit to their employees fairly so that employees could buy what they needed and saved money for the future and their
children.

When I was in Korea, I had a very strong faith and wanted to be a priest. However, when I came to the Philippines, I completely lost my
faith. I was very confused when I saw many unbelievable situations in the Philippines. Street kids always make me sad, and I see them
everyday. The Philippines is the only Catholic country in Asia, but there are too many poor people here. People go to church every Sunday to
pray, but nothing has been changed. My parents came to the Philippines last week and saw this situation. They told me that Korea was much
poorer than the present Philippines when they were young. They are so sorry that there so many beggars and street kids. When we went to
Pasangjan, I forced my parents to take a boat because it would fun. However, they were not happy after taking a boat. They said that they
would not take the boat again because they were sympathized the boat men, for the boat men were very poor and had a small frame. Most of people just took a boat and enjoyed it. But my parents did not enjoy it because of love for them.

My mother who has been working for Catholic Church since I was very young told me that if we just go to mass without changing ourselves, we
are not Catholic indeed. Faith should come with action. She added that I have to love Filipinos and do good things for them because all of us are
same and have received a great love from God.

I want Filipinos love their neighborhood and country as much as they love God so that the Philippines will be well off. I am sure that love
is the keyword which Filipinos should remember. We cannot change the sinful structure at once. It should start from person. Love must start
in everybody in a small scale and have to grow. A lot of things happen if we open up to love. Let's put away our prejudices and look at our worries with our new eyes. I discover that every person is worthy to be loved. Trust in love, because it makes changes possible. Love changes you and me. It changes people, contexts and relationships. It changes the world.

Please love your neighborhood and country. Jesus Christ said that whatever we do to others we do to Him. In the Philippines, there is God
who are abused and abandoned. There is God who is crying for love. If you have a child, teach them how to love the Philippines. Teach them why they have to love their neighborhood and country.

You already know that God also will be very happy if you love others. That's all I really want to ask you Filipinos.

Kababata ba Kita?

2005-08-23T00:14:00.000-07:00

--Nung ikaw ay bata... nagawa mo ba to?--

*kumakain ka ba ng aratilis?

*nagpipitpit ng gumamela para gawing soapy bubbles na hihipan mo sa binilog na tanggkay ng walis tingting?

*pinipilit ka ba matulog ng nanay mo pag hapon at di ka papayagan maglaro pag di ka natulog?

*marunong ka magpatintero, saksak puso, langit-lupa, teleber-teleber, luksong tinik?

*malupit ka pag meron kang atari, family computer or nes?
*alam mo ang silbi ng up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, a, b, a, b, start?

*may mga damit ka na U.S.E.D., Boy London, Cross Colors, Esprit, Blowing Bubbles at
pag nakakakita ka ng Bench na damit eh naalala mo si Richard Gomez?

*addict ka sa rainbow brite, carebears, my little pony, thundercats, bioman, voltes v, mazinger z, daimos, he-man at marami pang cartoons na hindi pa translated sa tagalog?

*nanonood ka ng shaider kasi nabobosohan mo si annie at type na type mo ang puting panty nya?

*marunong ka mag wordstar at nakahawak ka na talaga ng 5.25 na floppy disk?

*inaabangan mo lagi ang batibot at akala mo magkakatuluyan si kuya bodgie at ate sienna...nung high school ka inaabangan mo lagi beverly hills 90210?

*gumagamit ka ng AQUANET para pataasin ang bangs mo?

*meron kang blouse na may padding kung babae ka at meron kang sapatos na mighty kid kung lalake ka?

*nangongolekta ka size=2>

*idol mo si McGyver at nanonood kang perfect strangers?

*eto malupet... six digits! lang ba ang phone number nyo dati?

*nakakatawag ka pa sa pay phone ng 3 bentesingko lang ang dala?

*cute pa si aiza seguerra sa eat bulaga at alam mo ang song na "eh kasi bata"?

*inabutan mo ba na ang Magnolia Chocolait eh nasa glass bottle pa na ginagawang lalagyan ng tubig ng nanay mo sa ref?

*meron kang pencil case na maraming compartments na pinagyayabang mo sa mga kaklase mo?

*noon mo pa hinahanap kung saan ang Goya Fun Factory?

*alam mo lyrics ng "tinapang bangus" at "alagang-alaga namin si puti"?

*alam mo ang kantang "gloria labandera"..lumusong sha sa tubig ang paa ay nabasa
at ang "1, 2, 3, asawa ni marie"... hehehehehe?

*sosyal ka pag may play-doh ka at Lego... at nag-iipon ka ng G.I. Joe action figures at iba pa ang mukha ni barbie noon?

*inabutan mo pa yung singkong korteng bulaklak at yung diyes na square?

*lumaki kang bobo dahil ang akala mo nangangagat talaga ang alimango sa kantang tong-tong-tong...
diba naninipit yun?

*alam mo yung kwento ng pari na binigyan ng pera yung batang umakyat ng puno para bumili ng panty... and shempre, alam mo rin ba kung ano binigay nya sa nanay nung umakyat ng puno?

*meron kang kabisadong kanta ni andrew e na alam mo hanggang ngayon.. aminin?

*laging lampin ang sinasapin sa likod mo pag pinapawisan ka?

*bumibili ka ng tarzan, texas at bazooka bubble gum... tira-tira, at yung kending bilog na sinawsaw sa asukal?

*kinukupit mo pa at nanonood ka ng mga porno tapes ng tatay mo na nasa BETAMAX format pa...at sanay ka tawagin ang porn as BOLD?

*takot ka dumating ang year 2000 dahil sabi nla magugunaw daw ang mundo?

KUNG ALAM MO LAHAT DITO LAGPAS KA NA
NG 25 YEARS OLD... KAPAG HALOS LAHAT
ALAM MO, NASA 23-25 KA...

WAG KA NA MAG DENY.. TUMAWA KA NA
LANG... DIBA .75CENTAVOS PA LANG
PAMASAHE SA JEEP NUN AT MAS MASARAP
ANG MELLOW YELLOW KESA MOUNTAIN DEW? HAHAHAHAH

Butter vs Margarine

2005-08-23T00:13:00.000-07:00

Both have the same amount of calories.

Butter is slightly higher in saturated fats at 8 grams compared to 5 grams.

Eating margarine can increase heart disease in women by 53% over eating the same amount of butter, according to a recent
Harvard Medical Study.

Eating butter increases the absorption of many other nutrients in other foods.

Butter has many nutritional benefits where margarine has a few only because they are added!

Butter tastes much better than margarine and it can enhance the flavours of other foods.

Butter has been around for centuries where margarine has been around for less than 100 years.

And now, for Margarine.. Very high in trans fatty acids...

Triple risk of coronary heart disease.

Increases total cholesterol and LDL (this is the bad cholesterol) Lowers HDL cholesterol, (the good cholesterol)

... Increases the risk of cancers by up to five fold...

Lowers quality of breast milk...

Decreases immune response...

Decreases insulin response.

And here are the most disturbing facts....

HERE IS THE PART THAT IS VERY INTERESTING!

Margarine is but ONE MOLECULE away from being PLASTIC.......

And margarine is initially BLACK, but it is DYED YELLOW to look like butter.

These facts alone were enough to have me avoiding margarine for life and anything else that is hydrogenated (this means hydrogen is added, changing the molecular structure of the substance)..

YOU can try this yourself:
Purchase a tub of margarine and leave it in your garage or shaded area,within a couple of days you will note a couple of things: no flies, not even those pesky fruit flies will go near it (that should tell you something) ... it does not rot or smell differently..because it has no nutritional value, nothing will grow on it...even those teeny weeny microorganisms will not find a home to grow. Why? Because it is nearly plastic.

Would you melt your Tupperware and spread that on your toast?
Share This With Your Friends.....(Butter them up!)

Learn from us young ones

2005-08-22T23:32:00.000-07:00

We all have something to learn from this young girl.

As a drought continued for what seemed an eternity, a small community of farmers was in a quandary as to what to do. Rain was important to keep their crops healthy and sustain the townspeople's way of life.

As the problem became more acute, a local pastor called a prayer meeting to ask for rain.

Many people arrived. The pastor greeted most of them as they filed in. As he walked to the front of the church to officially begin the meeting he noticed most people were chatting across the aisles and socializing with friends. When he reached the front his thoughts were on quieting the attendees and starting the meeting.

His eyes scanned the crowd as he asked for quiet. He noticed an eleven year-old girl sitting quietly in the front row. Her face was beaming with excitement. Next to her, poised and ready for use, was a bright red umbrella. The little girl's beauty and innocence made the pastor smile as he realized how much faith she possessed. No one else in the congregation had brought an umbrella.

All came to pray for rain, but the little girl had come expecting God to answer.

-- Author Unknown

Para sa mga overworked

2005-08-22T23:19:00.000-07:00

This is nice para sa mga overworked !
O, bakit ka na naman na-i-istress? Did you wake up on the wrong side of the bed?

Meron ka bang deadline na i-bi-beat ngayong araw na ito?

It's important to understand stress before we can effectively manage it

kaya Stress ang pag-uusapan natin ngayon.

Ayon sa mga scientists mayroong dalawang uri ng stress.

Eustress and Distress.

Eustress is positive stress. Ito ang nararamdaman ng isang dalaga

kapag dumarating na ang kanyang manliligaw at may daladalang flowers.

Eustress din ang tawag sa stress na nararanasan ng mga nagwo- work-out

when they are doing their exercises.

Ang mga athletes, pagkatapos na ma-stress ang kanilang muscles,

they rest para ma-repair ang kanilang muscles.

Kapag hindi sila nagpahinga, the stressed muscles will be injured.

When injury happens, yan ang distress.

Distress is the negative side of stress.

Nakakaramdam ka na ng sakit ng ulo, pagsakit ng tiyan,

hindi na makatulog, di pa makakain.

Distress ang uri ng stress na nagreresulta sa kung ano-anong sakit

tulad ng hypertension, minsan nga ay emotional breakdown pa.

Ano ba ang pwede nating gawin para ang stress natin ay hindi maging distress? Famous author and inspirational speaker,

Dr. John Maxwell has the following suggestions:

Don't be overly sensitive to criticism.

Tanggapin na natin ang katotohanang hindi natin kayang i-please ang lahat ng tao.

Talagang mayroong hindi aayon sa iyo kahit na napaka-noble

ng iyong mga intentions and motives.

So when you receive criticisms, take it constructively kung sensible ang criticism.

If you think the criticism is not objective, huwag na lang pansinin at ng hindi ka ma-distress.

Don't take too much pride in your achievements.

Ang pride ay parang uling, ginagatungan niyan ang distress.

Ang taong proud ay mas lalong nadi-distress dahil masyado niyang iniingatan

ang kanyang achievement at accomplishment.

Minsan nga our achievements hinder us from growing and learning

kasi sinasabi natin sa ating sarili, aba may na-accomplish na ko.

Mas mahusay ako kaysa sa iba, hindi na nila ko pwedeng turuan.

Ang lungkot ng buhay kapag naging ganyan ang attitude natin.

Don't harbor jealousy over the achievement of others.

Ang taong mainggitin madalas ding madistress,

kasi nga totoo namang mayroong mas higit kaysa sa atin.

Natural ang iba ay maaaring magkaroon ng achievements na wala tayo di ba.

Instead of being jealous or envious,

let's learn to rejoice in the successes of others.

Malay mo malibre ka pa bogchi dahil nakikigalak ka sa kanilang tagumpay, di ba?

Don't focus on your weaknesses and inadequacies.

Ang sugat kapag mas lalo mong ginalaw mas lalong lalala at baka maimpeksyon.

The more you focus on your weaknesses and inadequacies

the bigger the tendency of wallowing in self-pity.

While it is important to acknowledge your inadequacies,

it is helpful to focus on your strengths and capabilities.

One effective way of fighting distress is by counting our blessings -

the good things which life brings.

When we have grateful hearts,

we will always be reminded that we are too blessed to be stressed!

Someone wrote that

"The shortest distance between a problem and a solution is the distance between your knees and the floor.

The one who kneels to the Lord can stand up to anything."

Philippines Ranks Fourth in World IT Skills

2005-08-22T23:02:00.000-07:00

MANILA - The Philippines ranks fourth worldwide in competence and skills for the information and communication technology (ICT) sector, a survey by a US-based research firm, the Meta Group, shows. India tops the survey, followed by Israel and Iceland.

The survey said the Philippines beat developed countries such as the United States, Canada, France and Australia in producing ICT professionals and workers.

According to the survey, Filipino ICT professionals are competent and skillful, adept with mainframes, minicomputers and microcomputers and equipped with the technical and business skills for ICT projects. Filipino ICT workers are also skilled in such e-enabling services as business outsourcing and human resource, customer interaction, finance and accounting ad website services.

Systems Technology Institute (STI), the Philippines' leading information-technology school, concluded that the country can succeed in its bid to become the ICT hub in the Asian region despite stumbling blocks such as limited infrastructure for convergence and a legal and administrative framework unable to ensure Internet security and privacy.

"There are problems but these are not big enough to stop the country from achieving the status of becoming the region's e-services hub," an STI statement said, noting that the Philippines enjoys a highly literate and ICT-capable workforce and is the host of several multinational companies' regional operations.

(Asia Pulse/PNA)

Best Water Feature 2005

2005-08-22T22:54:00.000-07:00

Konting Patawa naman jan!

2005-08-22T22:51:00.000-07:00

A Filipino applies for a Job at Wal-Mart: An office manager at Wal-Mart was given the task of hiring an individual to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes he found four people who were equally qualified: an American, a Russian, an Australian and a Filipino. He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job. The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table the interviewer asked, "What is the fastest thing you know of?" Acknowledging Dave, the American on his right, the man replied, "A THOUGHT." It just pops into your head. There's no warning that it's on the way; it's just there. A thought is the fastest thing I know of." "That's very good!" replied the interviewer. "And now you, sir?" he asked Vladimir, the Russian. "Hmm... let me see. A blink! It comes and goes and you don't know that it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know of." "Excellent!" said the interviewer. "The blink of an eye, that's a very popular cliché for speed." He then turned to George, the Australian who was contemplating his reply. "Well, out at my dad's ranch, you step out of the house and on the wall there's a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light in the barn comes on. Yep, TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of." The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found his man. "It's hard to beat the speed of light" he said. Turning to Eleuterio, the Filipino, the fourth and final man, the interviewer posed the same question. Eleuterio replied, "Apter herring da 3 frevyos ansers sirrr, et's obyus to me dat the fastest thang known is Diarrhea." "WHAT!?" said the interviewer, stunned by the response. "O I can expleyn serrr," said Eleuterio. "You see serr, da other day I wasn't peeeling so good and I run soo fast to the CR
or bathroom, But, before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, ay 'tang ina, I already had a big tae, ka-ka or poo-poo in my pants." Eleuterio is now the new "Greeter" at Wal-Mart

A Cup of Life

2005-08-22T22:44:00.000-07:00

Ability may take you to the top, but it takes character to keep you there."-John Wooden, Basketball Coach

A group of working adults got together to visit their University lecturer. The Lecturer was happy to see them. Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life.

The Lecturer just smiled and went to the kitchen to get an assortment of cups - some porcelain, some in plastic, some in glass, some plain looking and some looked rather expensive and exquisite.

The Lecturer offered his former students the cups to get drinks for themselves.
When all the students had a cup in hand with water, the Lecturer spoke:

"If you noticed, all the nice looking, expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is normal that you only want the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress. What all you wanted was water, not the cup, but we unconsciously went for the better cups."

"Just like in life, if Life is Water, then the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold/maintain Life, but the quality of Life doesn't change."

"If we only concentrate on the cup, we won't have time to enjoy/taste the water in it."

The Decline and Fall of UP Education

2005-08-22T22:37:00.000-07:00

Quality education at the University of the Philippines
used to be taken for granted. Not anymore. The growing
exodus of UP professors for greener pastures could
only result in mediocre graduates.

Asia Week's list of Best Asian Universities in 2000
was truly an eye opener. UP was ranked number 48 in
2000, a steep decline from number 32 ranking in 1999.
Number 1 in the list was Kyoto University of Japan,
followed by Tohoku University of Japan, University of
Hong Kong, Seoul National University of Korea and in
5th slot was the National University of Singapore.
Australian National University was nunber 8. De la
Salle University was number 71, Ateneo de Manila
University was number 72.

Of the 53.79 percent rating of UP, academic reputation
got a rating of 15.60 percent (#18), student
selectivity-- 21.36 percent (#44), faculty resources--
12.98 percent (#61), research-- 2.41 percent (#60) and
financial resources-- 1.43 percent (#67). Citations in
international journals per teacher/researcher-- 0.02
percent (#68).

In the age of chronic budget deficits, the low salary
of UP professors cannot be blamed entirely on the
government. UP had a budget of P3.84 billion in 2000.
To augment the income of UP and ensure quality
education, the leasing of unused property in its
Diliman campus to property developers was contemplated
but this was heavily criticized.

Those who are virulently opposed to the idea have only
succeeded in exposing their narrow, parochial
orientation. They should visit the prestigious
University of Heidelberg in Germany-- where the
National Hero, Dr. Jose Rizal, trained in
opthalmology-- to find vast number of shops on the
ground floor of the faculty buildings. This should
dispel the notion that education is incompatible with
commerce or the pursuit of knowledge is not possible
within the market place.

Steve Jobs Speech

2005-08-22T21:59:00.000-07:00

Text of the Commencement address by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer
and of Pixar Animation Studios, delivered at Stanford on June 12,
2005.

I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of
the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college.
Truth be told, this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college
graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life.
That's it. No big deal. Just three stories.

The first story is about connecting the dots.

I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then
stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I
really quit. So why did I drop out?

It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed
college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption.
She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates,
so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer
and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last
minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a
waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: "We have
an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?" They said: "Of course." My
biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated
from college and that my father had never graduated from high school.
She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a
few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to
college.

And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college
that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class
parents' savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six
months, I couldn't see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted
to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me
figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents
had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that
it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but
looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute
I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn't
interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked
interesting.

It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the
floor in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits
to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every
Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple.
I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my
curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me
give you one example:

Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy
instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every
label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I
had dropped out and didn't have to take the normal classes, I decided
to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about
serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space
between different letter combinations, about what makes great
typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle
in a way that science can't capture, and I found it fascinating.

None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life.
But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh
computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the
Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had
never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have
never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And
since Windows just copied the Mac, its likely that no personal
computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have
never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers
might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it
was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in
college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years
later.

Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only
connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots
will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something -
your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let
me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

My second story is about love and loss.

I was lucky - I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I
started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and
in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into
a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released
our finest creation - the Macintosh - a year earlier, and I had just
turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company
you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was
very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or
so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to
diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board
of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly
out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it
was devastating.

I really didn't know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had
let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down - that I had
dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David
Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so
badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running
away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me - I
still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed
that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I
decided to start over.

I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple
was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness
of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner
again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the
most creative periods of my life.

During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another
company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would
become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer
animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful
animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple
bought NeXT, I retuned to Apple, and the technology we developed at
NeXT is at the heart of Apple's current renaissance. And Laurene and
I have a wonderful family together.

I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been
fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the
patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick.
Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me
going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love.
And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work
is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be
truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only
way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it
yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart,
you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it
just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking
until you find it. Don't settle.

My third story is about death.

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live
each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be
right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33
years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked
myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do
what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No"
for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've
ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because
almost everything - all external expectations, all pride, all fear of
embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of
death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are
going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you
have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not
to follow your heart.

About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in
the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn't
even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost
certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should
expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised
me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor's code for
prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you
thought you'd have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few
months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it
will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your
goodbyes.

I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a
biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my
stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got
a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was
there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the
doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form
of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery
and I'm fine now.

This was the closest I've been to facing death, and I hope its the
closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can
now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a
useful but purely intellectual concept:

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want
to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share.
No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because
Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's
change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right
now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will
gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so
dramatic, but it is quite true.

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life.
Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other
people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out
your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow
your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly
want to become. Everything else is secondary.

When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole
Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was
created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo
Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in
the late 1960's, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so
it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It
was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google
came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and
great notions.

Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth
Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final
issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of
their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road,
the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so
adventurous. Beneath it were the words: "Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish."
It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay
Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you
graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

Thank you all very much.

Informatica and Itemfield Partnership

2005-08-22T21:46:00.000-07:00

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

______

Abstract
Informatica will seamlessly embed core Itemfield technology within the Informatica PowerCenter data integration platform.

Full Text

Informatica Corporation announces a comprehensive OEM, technology and marketing partnership with Itemfield. Under this agreement, Informatica will seamlessly embed core Itemfield technology within the Informatica PowerCenter data integration platform, thus delivering the first unified platform for processing all forms of unstructured, semi-structured and structured data across the enterprise.

It is estimated that unstructured data - such as email, Word files, spreadsheets, presentations and .PDF documents - accounts for up to 90 percent of the information stored in enterprises today. And semi-structured data, which includes industry-standard formats - such as HL7 and HIPAA in health care, SWIFT in financial services and ACORD in insurance - is also widespread and increasingly relied upon in today's automated business environments.

Just as Informatica PowerCenter automatically transforms and integrates structured data, Itemfield automates the batch or real-time transformation of unstructured and semi-structured data without costly and inflexible custom programming. By embedding Itemfield technology within PowerCenter, Informatica can provide customers with access to nearly all types of enterprise data, combined with the ability to visualize, integrate, and package that information for delivery to enterprise systems, business processes and decision-makers. Informatica will also resell the full-license version of Itemfield's flagship product, ContentMaster, to its clients enabling coverage of structured, unstructured and semi-structured data to extend seamlessly across batch and real-time applications.

The American arm of Natexis Banques Populaires, a leader in the European financial market, has standardized on the Informatica PowerCenter platform for data integration. In order to automate the generation of highly complex and unstructured SWIFT messages, which are used in financial-institution transfers, the company is now implementing Itemfield ContentMaster to work in tandem with Informatica PowerCenter.

For more on Informatica, visit: www.informatica.com

For more on Itemfield, visit: www.itemfield.com

Be Good to your Liver

2005-08-22T21:45:00.000-07:00

The main causes of liver damage are:

1. Sleeping too late and waking up too late are the main cause.
2. Not urinating in the morning.
3. Too much eating.
4. Skipping breakfast.
5. Consuming too much medication.
6. Consuming too much preservatives, additives, food coloring, and
artificial sweetener.
7. Consuming unhealthy cooking oil. As much as possible reduce cooking oil
use when frying, which includes even the best cooking oils like olive oil.
Do not consume fried foods when you are tired, except if the body is very
fit.
8. Consuming raw (overly done) foods also add to the burden of liver.
Veggies should be eaten raw or cooked 3-5 parts. Fried veggies should be
finished in one sitting, do not store. We should prevent this without
necessarily spending more. We just have to adopt a good daily lifestyle and
eating habits. Maintaining good eating habits and time condition are very
important for our bodies to absorb and get rid of unnecessary chemicals
according to "schedule."

Because:

Evening at 9 - 11pm : is the time for eliminating unnecessary/toxic
chemicals (de-toxification) from the antibody system (lymph nodes).This
time duration should be spent by relaxing or listening to music. If during
this time a housewife is still in an unrelaxed state such as washing the
dishes or monitoring children doing their homework, this will have a
negative impact on health.

Evening at 11pm - 1am : is the de-toxification process in the liver, and
ideally should be done in a deep sleep state.

Early morning 1 - 3am : de-toxification process in the gall, also ideally
done in a deep sleep state.

Early morning 3 - 5am : de-toxification in the lungs. Therefore there will
sometimes be a severe cough for cough sufferers during this time. Since the
de-toxification process had reached the respiratory tract, there is no need
to take cough medicine so as not to interfere with toxin removal process.

Morning 5 - 7am : de-toxification in the colon, you should empty your
bowel.

Morning 7 - 9am : absorption of nutrients in the small intestine, you
should be having breakfast at this time. Breakfast should be earlier,
before 6:30am, for those who are sick. Breakfast before 7:30am is very
beneficial to those wanting to stay fit. Those who always skip breakfast,
they should change their habits, and it is still better to eat breakfast
late until 9 - 10am rather than no meal at all.

Sleeping so late and waking up too late will disrupt the process of
removing unnecessary chemicals. Aside from that, midnight to 4am is the
time when the bone marrow produces blood. Therefore, have a good sleep and
don't sleep late.

Facts about F1

2005-08-22T21:44:00.000-07:00

Facts about F1

01. An F1 car is made up of 80,000 components, if it
were assembled
99.9% correctly, it would still start the race
with 80 things wrong!

02. Formula 1 cars have over a kilometre of cable,
linked to about
100 sensors and actuators which monitor and
control many parts of the car.

03. An F1 car can go from 0 to 160 kph AND back to
0 in FOUR seconds!!!!!!!

04. F1 car engines last only for about 2 hours of
racing mostly
before blowing up on the other hand we expect our
engines to last us
for a decent 20yrs on an average and they quite
faithfully
DO....thats the extent to which the engines r
pushed to perform...

05. When an F1 driver hits the brakes on his car
he experiences
retardation or deceleration comparable to a
regular car driving
through a BRICK wall at 300kmph !!!

06. An average F1 driver looses about 4kgs of
weight after just one
race due to the prolonged exposure to high G
forces and temperatures
for little over an hour (Yeah thats right!!!)

07. At 550kg a F1 car is less than half the weight
of a Mini.

08. In an F1 car the engine typically revs upto
18000 rpm,(the
piston travelling up and down 300 times a
second!!) wheres cars like
the palio, maruti 800,indica rev only upto 6000
rpm at max. Thats 3 times slower.

09. The brake discs in an F1 car have an operating
temperature of
approx 1000 degees Centigrade and they attain that
temp while
braking before almost every turn...that is why
they r not made of steel
but of carbon fibre which is much more harder and
resistant to wear
and tear and most of all has a higher melting
point.

10. If a water hose were to blow off, the complete
cooling system
would empty in just over a second.

11. Gear cogs or ratios are used only for one
race, and are replaced
regularly to prevent failure, as they are
subjected to very high degrees of stress.

12. The fit in the cockpit is so tight that the
steering wheel must
be removed for the driver to get in or out of the
car. A small latch
behind the wheel releases it from the column.
Levers or paddles for
changing gear are located on the back of the
wheel. So no gearstick!
The clutch levers are also on the steering wheel,
located below the gear paddles.

13. To give you an idea of just how important
aerodynamic design and
added downforce can be, small planes can take off
at slower speeds
than F1 cars travel on the track.

14. Without aerodynamic downforce,
high-performance racing cars have
sufficient power to produce wheel spin and loss of
control at 160
kph. They usually race at over 300 kph.

15. The amount of aerodynamic downforce produced
by the front and
rear wings and the car underbody is amazing. Once
the car is
travelling over 160 kph, an F1 car can generate
enough downforce to
equal it's own weight. That means it could
actually hold itself to the CEILING of a
tunnel and drive UPSIDE down!

16. In a street course race like the monaco grand
prix, the
downforce provides enough suction to lift manhole
covers. Before
the race all of the manhole covers on the streets
have to be welded down
to prevent this from happening!

17. The refuelers used in F1 can supply 12 litres
of fuel per
second. This means it would take just 4 seconds to
fill the tank of
an average 50 litre family car.They use the same
refueling rigs
used on US military helicopters today.

18. TOP F1 pit crews can refuel and change tyres
in around 3
seconds. & 8 sec to read above point.

19. Race car tyres don't have air in them like
normal car tyres.
Most racing tyres have nitrogen in the tyres
because nitrogen has a
more consistent pressure compared to normal air.
Air typically
contains varying amounts of water vapour in it,
which affects its expansion
andcontraction as a function of temperature,
making the tyre pressure unpredictable.

20. During the race the tyres lose weight! Each
tyre loses about 0.5
kg in weight due to wear.

21. Normal tyres last 60 000 - 100 000 km. Racing
tyres are
designed to last 90 - 120 km.

22. A dry-weather F1 tyre reaches peak operating
performance (best
grip) when tread temperature is between 900C and
1200C.(Water
boils boils at 100C remember) At top speed, F1 tyres
rotate 50 times a second.

Sablay na Hirit

2005-08-22T21:42:00.000-07:00

O, sa mga mahilig humirit ng english ....... kaso sablay naman.....
> dedicated sa inyo 'to....
>
>
>
> MGA SABLAY HIRIT...
>
> "Well, well, well. Look do we have here!"
>
> "Let's give them a big hand of applause."
>
> "The more the manyer."
>
> "It's a no-win-win situation."
>
> "Burn the bridge when you get there."
>
> "Anulled and void."
>
> "Mute and academic."
>
> "C'mon let's join us!"
>
> "If worse comes to shove."
>
> "Are you joking my leg?"
>
> "It's not my problem anymore, it's your problem anymore."
>
> "What are friends are for?"
>
> "You can never can tell."
>
> "Been there, been that."
>
> "Forget it about it."
>
> "Give him the benefit of the daw."
>
> "It's a blessing in the sky."
>
> "Right there and right then."
>
> "Where'd you came from?"
>
> "Take things first at a time."
>
> "You're barking at the wrong dog."
>
> "You want to have your cake and bake it too."
>
> "First and for all."
>
> "Now and there."
>
> "I'm only human nature."
>
> "The sky's the langit."
>
> "That's what I'm talking about it."
>
> "One of these days is not like the other."
>
> "So far, so good, so far."
>
> "Time is of the elements."
>
> "In the wink of an eye."
>
> "The feeling is actual."
>
> "For all intense and purposes."
>
> "I ran into some errands."
>
> "Hi. I'm >
> "What is the world is coming to?"
>
> "What is the next that is?"
>
> "Base-to-base casis."
>
> "My answers have been prayered."
>
> "Please me alone!"
>
> 'It's as brand as new."
>
> "So... what's a beautiful girl like you?...."
>
> "I can't take it anymore of this!"
>
> "Are you sure ka na ba?"
>
>
> HALA SIGE, HIRIT PA....
>
> I couldn't care a damn!
>
> What's your next class before this? (ANO DAW???!!!)
>
> Nothing in this world is perfect except the word "change"
>
> My dad brought home a lot of hand-me-downs! (Translation: Daming
> pasalubong ng tatay ko.)
>
> I'm very iterated!!! (translation: galit sya! haha!)
>
> I'm sorry, my boss just passed away. (translation: kakadaan lang
> ng boss nya.)
>
> Hello, my boss is out of town. Would you like to wait?
>
> What happened after the erection of Mayon Volcano?
>
> Don't touch me not!
>
> Hello?... For a while, please hang yourself...
>
> Hello McDo? Mag-i-inquire lang ako kung magkano ang kidney meal?
> (yung pang-batang pagkain)
>
> You!!! You're not a boy anymore! You're a a man anymore!
> (hmmm...sounds familiar)
>
> Out of fit ako these days eh...
>
> Come, lets join us!
>
> I'm the world champion of the World!!!

Carrots, Eggs & Coffee

2005-08-22T21:39:00.000-07:00

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things
were hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted
to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one
problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen where she filled three pots with water.
She placed carrots in the first, eggs in the second, and ground coffee beans
in the third. She let them boil without saying a word. In about 20 minutes,
she turned off the burners. She fished out the carrots and placed them in a
bowl. She pulled out the eggs and placed them in a second bowl. She laddled
the coffee into a third bowl.

Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me, what do you see?"

"Carrots, eggs, and coffee," the daughter replied."

The mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. The
daughter did and noted they were soft. Next, she had her daughter take an
egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled
egg. Finally, she had her daughter sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as
she tasted its rich aroma.

The daughter then asked, "What's the point, mother?"

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity
- boiling water - but each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong,
hard and unrelenting, but after being subjected to the boiling water, it
softened and became weak.

The egg had been fragile, its thin outer shell protecting its liquid
interior. After sitting in the boiling water, its inside became hardened.

The ground coffee beans were unique. After they were in the boiling water,
they changed the water.

"Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your
door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean."

Surviving Competition for Call Centers

2005-08-22T21:37:00.000-07:00

The call center industry in the Philippines is going through a period of
rapid expansion but increasingly is suffering from issues such as bad debts
and shrinking margins.

The gameplan for continued success and expansion is to retain profitable
customers, expand markets and improve efficiencies through financial
management.

If your financial data is fragmented and incomplete, your decisions have
been based on guesswork, not fact.

Are your projects profitable?
Do your customers pay you on time and stay within credit limits?
Are you forced to choose between timelines and accuracy for your
company's financial data?
Does your request for consolidated data cause an information gathering
and reconciling gridlock?
Can your system furnish accurate, real-time information -- and
simultaneously cut costs?

With Oracle E-Business Suite 11i, you can make smarter decisions with
better information, visibility across customers and suppliers, share
unified information across your organization, reduce IT expenses, and run
your business more efficiently.

Join us! And learn how we can help your company survive and thrive in
today's economy!

Surviving Competition for Call Centers
A seminar for implementing globally accepted best
practices in financial management

April 21, 2005 4:00p.m.
Balmori Room, Peninsula Manila
Makati Avenue, Makati City

*/a/b/s/ team of experienced consultants will be available for 10-minute
business consultations.

Confirm your attendance now! Seats are limited.
Complete the attached form and email via the 'reply' button; or print and
fax to (632) 840-8355.
Or call us at (632) 840-8311 or (632) 840-8313.

Reservations

Please save me a seat for Surviving Competition for Call Centers

Name: ____________________________

Company: __________________________

Telephone: __________________________

Email: ______________________________

Please schedule me for a 10-minute business consultation with an
/a/b/s/ consultant.

Active Business Solutions, Inc.
5/F Lepanto Building 8747 Paseo de Roxas, Makati City 1226
Philippines
URL: www.ActiveBusiness.com

What do these Colors Mean

2005-08-22T21:34:00.000-07:00

We live in a colorful world. In many countries, colors represent various holidays; they are also used to express feelings and enliven language. Find your favorite color and see what it means around the world.

Red
For the ancient Romans, a red flag was a signal for battle.

Because of its visibility, stop signs, stoplights, brake lights, and fire equipment are all painted red.

The ancient Egyptians considered themselves a red race and painted their bodies with red dye for emphasis.

In Russia, red means beautiful. The Bolsheviks used a red flag as their symbol when they overthrew the tsar in 1917. That is how red became the color of communism.

In India, red is the symbol for a soldier.

In South Africa, red is the color of mourning.

It's considered good luck to tie a red bow on a new car.

In China, red is the color of good luck and is used as a holiday and wedding color. Chinese babies are given their names at a red-egg ceremony.

Superstitious people think red frightens the devil.

A “red-letter day” is one of special importance and good fortune.

In Greece, eggs are dyed red for good luck at Easter time.

To “paint the town red” is to celebrate.

Red is the color most commonly found in national flags.

In the English War of the Roses, red was the color of the House of Lancaster, which defeated the House of York, symbolized by the color white.

The “Redshirts” were the soldiers of the Italian leader Garibaldi, who unified modern Italy in the nineteenth century.

To “see red” is to be angry.

A “red herring” is a distraction, something that takes attention away from the real issue.

A “red eye” is an overnight airplane flight.

If a business is “in the red,” it is losing money.

Green
Only one national flag is a solid color: the green flag of Libya.

Ancient Egyptians colored the floors of their temples green.

In ancient Greece, green symbolized victory.

In the highlands of Scotland, people wore green as a mark of honor.

Green is the national color of Ireland.

A “greenback” is slang for a U.S. dollar bill.

Green means “go.” When “all systems are green,” it means everything is in order.

The green room of a concert hall or theater is where performers relax before going onstage.

The “green-eyed monster” is jealousy.

A greenhorn is a newcomer or unsophisticated person.

Green is youthful.

Being “green around the gills” is looking pale and sickly.

“Green with envy” means full of envy or jealousy.

A person with a “green thumb” is good at making plants grow.

A green, or common, is a town park.

Green is a healing color, the color of nature.

Blue
In ancient Rome, public servants wore blue. Today, police and other public servants wear blue.

In China, blue is for little girls.

In Iran, blue is the color of mourning.

Blue was used as protection against witches, who supposedly dislike the color.

If you are “true blue,” you are loyal and faithful.

Blue stands for love, which is why a bride carries or wears something blue on her wedding day.

A room painted blue is said to be relaxing.

“Feeling blue” is feeling sad. “Blue devils” are feelings of depression.

Something “out of the blue” is from an unknown source at an unexpected time.

A bluebook is a list of socially prominent people.

The first prize gets a blue ribbon.

A blue blood is a person of noble descent. This is probably from the blue veins of the fair-complexioned aristocrats who first used this term.

“Into the blue” means into the unknown.

A “bluenose” is a strict, puritanical person.

A “bluestocking” used to be a scholarly or highly knowledgeable woman.

The pharaohs of ancient Egypt wore blue for protection against evil.

The “blues” is a style of music derived from southern African-American secular songs. It influenced the development of rock, R&B, and country music.

“Blue laws” are used to enforce moral standards.

A blue ribbon panel is a group of especially qualified people.

Purple, Violet
The Egyptian queen Cleopatra loved purple. To obtain one ounce of Tyrian purple dye, she had her servants soak 20,000 Purpura snails for 10 days.

In Thailand, purple is worn by a widow mourning her husband's death.

A “purple heart” is a U.S. military decoration for soldiers wounded or killed in battle.

Purple is a royal color.

Purple robes are an emblem of authority and rank.

“Purple speech” is profane talk.

“Purple prose” is writing that is full of exaggerated literary effects and ornamentation.

Leonardo da Vinci believed that the power of meditation increases 10 times when done in a purple light, as in the purple light of stained glass.

Purple in a child's room is said to help develop the imagination according to color theory.

Richard Wagner composed his operas in a room with shades of violet, his color of inspiration.

Yellow
In Egypt and Burma, yellow signifies mourning.

In Spain, executioners once wore yellow.

In India, yellow is the symbol for a merchant or farmer.

In tenth-century France, the doors of traitors and criminals were painted yellow.

Hindus in India wear yellow to celebrate the festival of spring.

If someone is said to have a “yellow streak,” that person is considered a coward.

In Japan during the War of Dynasty in 1357, each warrior wore a yellow chrysanthemum as a pledge of courage.

A yellow ribbon is a sign of support for soldiers at the front.

Yellow is a symbol of jealousy and deceit.

In the Middle Ages, actors portraying the dead in a play wore yellow.

To holistic healers, yellow is the color of peace.

Yellow has good visibility and is often used as a color of warning. It is also a symbol for quarantine, an area marked off because of danger.

“Yellow journalism” refers to irresponsible and alarmist reporting.

White
A white flag is the universal symbol for truce.

White means mourning in China and Japan.

Angels are usually depicted wearing white robes.

The ancient Greeks wore white to bed to ensure pleasant dreams.

The Egyptian pharaohs wore white crowns.

The ancient Persians believed all gods wore white.

A “white elephant” is a rare, pale elephant considered sacred to the people of India, Thailand, Burma, and Sri Lanka; in this country, it is either a possession that costs more than it is worth to keep or an item that the owner doesn't want but can't get rid of.

It's considered good luck to be married in a white garment.

White heat is a state of intense enthusiasm, anger, devotion, or passion.

To whitewash is to gloss over defects or make something seem presentable that isn't.

A “white knight” is a rescuer.

A white list contains favored items (as opposed to a blacklist).

A “whiteout” occurs when there is zero visibility during a blizzard.

A “white sale” is a sale of sheets, towels, and other bed and bath items.

A “whited sepulcher” is a person who is evil inside but appears good on the outside, a hypocrite.

“White lightning” is slang for moonshine, a homebrewed alcohol.

A white room is a clean room as well as a temperature-controlled, dust-free room for precision instruments.

White water is the foamy, frothy water in rapids and waterfalls.

Black
The ancient Egyptians and Romans used black for mourning, as do most Europeans and Americans today.

The “Blackshirts” were the security troops in Hitler's German army, also known as the S.S.

Black often stands for secrecy.

Black humor is morbid or unhealthy and gloomy humor.

In China, black is for little boys.

A “blackhearted” person is evil.

If a business is “in the black,” it is making money.

A “blacklist” is a list of persons or organizations to be boycotted or punished.

Black is associated with sophistication and elegance. A “black tie” event is formal.

A black belt in karate identifies an expert.

A black flag in a car race is the signal for a driver to go to the pits.

A blackguard is a scoundrel.

The ancient Egyptians believed that black cats had divine powers.

Black lung is a coal miner's disease caused by the frequent inhaling of coal dust.

Blackmail is getting things by threat.

Black market is illegal trade in goods or money.

A black sheep is an outcast.

“Blackwash” (as opposed to “whitewash”) is to uncover or bring out in the light.

A blackout is a period of darkness from the loss of electricity, for protection against nighttime air raids, or, in the theater, to separate scenes in a play.

When you “black out,” you temporarily lose consciousness.